I could have thrown them in the drawer and forgot all about them. I could always tell him I enjoyed the show. Or I could have given the tickets to that beggar I saw sitting on the ground on my way to the railway station. I gave him some money instead.
Rather stupidly, I mentioned the tickets when I got home.
Big mistake.
Suddenly we all became artistic, sophisticated and modern and we should go to London and see the ballet. Up to then we were happy to be uneducated morons satisfied with football on TV and soap programs like Downton Abbey. But nooooo ... we now had to go to the ballet.
This meant we had to travel to London, it meant an overnight stay at a hotel, it meant having to eat at a fancy restaurant rather that have fish and chips behind the trash bins in an alleyway, it meant more expense like a lovely new dress and a nice suit for me.
What a waste of time and money. And there was a good game on TV too.
To top it all, they did not have popcorn at the theatre. Can you imagine? Sitting there for hours in the dark with no popcorn, no fizzy drinks or any sweets or candies. What a stupid place is this?
They were showing something called Swan Lake. I believe it is based on a German fairy tale and the music is by Tchaikovsky. Definitely not as good as The Beatles or The Rolling Stones, I tell you.
I read the story in the brochure they gave us at the entrance. £5 per brochure, would you believe? The worst £5 I spent and not got any popcorn!
Swan lake is about a prince called Siedfried who falls in love with a Swan named Odette. What an idiot. Anyone could have told him this relationship is not going to last. A prince and a swan!
She is a swan by day, and a young woman at night. Hmmm ... I shall not comment.
She's under a magic spell that can only be broken by a man who promises to love her for ever. A bit like the kissing of a frog syndrome, I guess.
Anyway, he promises to love her for ever and a day ... and night. But he is tricked by the magician who cast the spell. They both die and live happily ever after!
Not much of a plot, I thought. What was worse is that it was performed in the medium of dance.
There was this man in very tight trousers. We were sitting in the front row, and you did not need opera or ballet glasses to see the tightness of his trousers. What was all that about? I thought. Thankfully he did not sing, because I tell you it would have affected the timbre of his voice.
Then there was this woman, amongst other cast members. For some reason they all walked on tiptoe. I did not understand why. She ran at him. Threw herself in the air, And he caught her and lifted her up high.
If any woman did that to me I'd probably end up in hospital with a hernia.
This dancing about and music went on for ages. Which is a long time to go without a beer, or something to eat.
At the hotel room afterwards I pulled up my pyjama trousers up high and attempted to walk on tiptoes.
I was told I'm an ignorant jerk.
...ballet isn't my thing either!
ReplyDeleteYes, same here, Tom.
DeleteGod bless.
Hilarious! Not once, but twice I nearly spit out my coffee.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure grateful for missed opportunities-- like attending an opera!
I really don't know why they have to walk on their toes, Mevely. Must be very painful. And why do men wear such tight trousers revealing their bits? What's the fun in that?
DeleteSo glad you enjoyed this post, my friend. God bless you.
The only ballet I ever enjoyed watching was when my daughter danced - she was quite gifted and talented, making the dances easier to watch. Even without popcorn!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Victor!
I bet it was very difficult to dance ballet. Must have needed a lot of concentration and strength to stand and walk on tiptoe.
DeleteGod bless you and your family, Martha.
I'll pass on the ballet every time.
ReplyDeleteI agree Bill. I hate wearing a tutu.
DeleteGod bless.
I admire their ability and all the hard work but ballet is just not my thing.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree, Happyone. I admire all their hard work and pain in doing what they do. But I can't really understand why they do it. Why have we, the audience, decreed that they should walk on tiptoe and throw themselves hoping to be caught in mid-air. They must diet and be slim to be able to do that. Can you imagine a ten ton woman jumping on a man and flattening him like a pancake?
DeleteGod bless.
My thing is theatre, I did little theatre for a long time at least until I tired of memorizing. I have to admit that I prefer to be a participant rather than a spectator. As for the ballet, I can take it or leave it, but for the most part, I would leave it. I’m glad you survived your evening of ballet especially without popcorn. Have a blest day.
ReplyDeleteI see what you mean, Nells. I used to enjoy presenting live variety shows on the stage. Better as a participants. I've never understood ballet.
DeleteGod bless always, my friend.
Thanks so very much, just reading this I feel artistic, sophisticated and modern. You done good. I had no idea there was a prince that confused. Oh well,
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed the visit you your home even if you wee gone out to the Ballet.
Sherry & jack (looking for tickets!)
Yes Jack, I did not realise that the ballet actually represented a story in the telling. I thought it was just people dancing. But Swan Lake is actually a fairy tale. Never understood why they're on tiptoe. Easier to hire taller dancers, I think.
DeleteGod bless you both.
The best place to view ballet is on TV, with comfortable chairs, snacks available and the remote to change the channel when you've had enough.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to view ballet is to watch sports instead.
DeleteGod bless you, River.
I feel your pain!
ReplyDeleteSo you're not a ballet person either, JoeH?
DeleteGod bless.
Ballet, opera, and Broadway musicals. I know that the performers are very talented and many people love those forms of art. Not for me.
DeleteI agree, although Opera and Musicals have produced some good songs. Remember Nessun Dorma.
DeleteGod bless.
Ballet is wonderful, if you enjoy it. Since my husband wouldn't enjoy it, i'd take a friend instead. Your wife should think about that next time.
ReplyDeleteHitting one's fingers with a hammer is also wonderful if one enjoys it. What I don't understand, Mimi, is the point of it all. You have people dancing on tiptoe and leaning backwards and forwards, jumping and all that sort of thing. No dialogue. No stand-up comedian. What is the point?
DeleteGod bless you always. (Do you like ballet and do you go to watch it?)
If you enjoy it (and I do) then it is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteLike classical music, ballet leaves room for interpretation and has the power to touch people in a way that words cannot always manage ... the experience never leaves you.
All the best Jan
I guess the real reason is that I don't understand it. I'll admit though some of the music is very memorable and enjoyable.
DeleteGod bless, Jan.