The cell-phone for instance. I'll admit it is a great invention and it has helped many people in difficult situations when they had to phone for help, or to communicate something urgently. But did we really need a cell-phone with a camera? This gave rise to another new trend, or craze. The selfie. The sudden and urgent need to take a photo of oneself. Not just one photo. But millions in every pause, in every background and in every situation you can imagine. And to make matters easier, someone invented a long stick with which you can take a photo of yourself by placing the cell-phone at the end of it.
Recently, I was the recipient, as a gift, of yet another new invention. It is a Swiss watch. It can keep accurate time to the nth of a millisecond. But, here's the clever bit, every hour, quarter past, half past and quarter to, the watch face opens and a little bird comes out and sings "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"
At first I wore is as a gimmick, if only to please the person who gifted it to me. You know how it is. Sometimes you have to comply to make others happy. Like the day my wife bought me two ties for my birthday. We were going out to dinner, so to please her, I wore one of the ties. As soon as she saw me she said, "what's wrong with the other one?"
Anyway, I had this Swiss watch on on my way to work on the train. Opposite me sat a young lady. I really do get annoyed when people on trains and buses listen to music on earphones so loud. In order to be considerate, which I usually am, I took off the watch and put it in my trouser pocket. Every fifteen minutes the damn thing went, "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!"
I noticed the young lady looking at my trousers and say nothing. I wanted to explain. But how do you do that without getting arrested? I got off at the next stop, even though I was miles away from my destination. The watch told me that I was precisely 1 hour and 17.53 minutes late.
Another new invention is a contraption you wear on your wrist and it tells you how much you have walked, in miles and in steps, how many calories you have used, your blood pressure and so on. I wore it for a few days and it told me that I don't move enough. Obvious really. Mine is a desk job. I walk to the station. Sit on the train. Walk to my office and stay there until it is time to go home. The only walking opportunity I have is walking up and down on the same step at home. I do about fifty walking up and down on the same step. Takes me ages to go to the toilet.
You get inventions to encourage you to take exercise and be active, like this wrist thing, treadmills, and other equipments; yet you have inventions which encourage you to do the opposite. Like the TV remote control for instance. It encourages you to remain seated and not move towards the TV to change channels.
By the way, does anyone know why when I point to my wife with the remote control she does not stop talking?
And why does she need to vacuum clean when sports is on TV?
And why there is dust on the TV screen? I mentioned it the other day and I got the silent treatment. Better than a remote control, I think.
Are there any inventions you think we could do well without?
(NOTE: Humour only. No phones, ties, watches, remote controls, dust or wives have been harmed in the writing of this story. All characters and situations are fictitious and any similarities to persons, situations or inventions are purely coincidental.)