My confession

 

I don't know about you, but I must confess I am addicted to collecting Beatles albums. I think I need HELP!

I read somewhere that an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So I threw it at him and it kept him away for longer.

Did you know that I ran a dating agency for chickens? At the end I was struggling to make hens meet.

I am studying genetics by correspondence course; specialising in cloning techniques. If I don't perfect human cloning I won't be able to live with myself.

I tried studying ancient history. My poor knowledge of Greek mythology was my Achilles heel.

I went out for a drive yesterday. I didn't realise I was a bad driver until the lady in the satellite navigation system said, "A few yards ahead, please stop and let me out of the car!"

I went along to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous and found that all the seats were taken. 

We had a garage sale last week. I sold our vacuum cleaner. It was only gathering dust. 

This morning I met Henri. He is a Private Investigator. He was hiding behind a lamp post. Even though it was a beautiful day he was carrying an open umbrella. He told me he was undercover.

On her birthday my wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy ... so I got drunk.

My grandfather told me that he saw the Titanic all those years ago. He warned the people that the ship would sink but no one believed him or listened to him. He was a brave man and did not give up. He continued warning people several times again and again that the ship would sink. Eventually they threw him out of the cinema. 

I like romantic movies. In the cinema I always like to hold hands, which often startles the strangers sitting next to me.