Thursday 23 February 2023

The "No Title" Story

 

I was walking home after a gruelling job interview for a Project Management Accountant. They had kept me waiting for a while, then when it was my turn they asked me to stand on tiptoe. Then they told me to do a pirouette. I nearly fell on my face. Then someone suggested a cabriol├ę and a pas de deux. I told them the first one was a type of car and the other meant father of twins.

I did not get the job. Turned out I was in the wrong place.

So I walked home all dejected and forlorn. Or was it forlorn and dejected?

I looked behind me and discovered I was being followed by a Labrador dog. Perhaps he too had been to the wrong interview. Perhaps he wanted to be a racing horse. Or maybe he was a plain-clothed police dog.

I stopped. He stopped. I started walking again. He followed. I walked faster. So did he. Faster still. He pursued. I ran. He ran too.

I quickly stopped and jumped into a parked taxi. Fooled him.

I told the driver to just drive anywhere in circles and bring me back ten or so minutes later to the same place. He thought I was odd. He tutted and obeyed.

Eventually he dropped me off just by the library. As I got out, another taxi drew up and the dog got out.

How ... how did that happen? What kind of a dog is that?

The driver of the second car got out. He said he saw the dog running after me and assumed I'd left him behind in my hurry. So he brought him to me. He insisted I paid him or he'll teach me a ballet move that has yet to be invented.

I told the dog to sit. He obeyed and I entered the library to hide from him. 

The librarian asked if she could help me. I said, "I'm being followed!"

She offered to ring the police. I explained I was followed by a dog; then just as an excuse I asked for the first book that came to mind.

"Have you a book on paranoia?" I asked.

"It's behind you!" she said.

I jumped out of my skin. There behind me was a book on the shelf entitled "BOOOH !!!" by I M Startled.

I took the book and walked out. The dog was there standing on his hind legs, tail wagging and licking the face of an old lady. She explained that the dog had escaped his lead in the park and she'd been looking for him for the last half-an-hour.

She was so pleased to have found him. 

I was so pleased to have lost him.

23 comments:

  1. ...thanks Victor for the chuckles.

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  2. Smiing here. Sherry & I were walking in a very small town in Kentucky when a dog just like your picture attached itself to us, and we hadn't even been to a Balet interview. He followed us most of the morning then walked off, He did not find his 'Old Lady', I guess.
    Anyway This is Sherry & jack smiling, THANKS.

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    1. I guess dogs know who loves them. That's why they followed. In my case, I was in too much of a hurry to deal with a stray dog.

      Keep smiling and keep well my friends.

      God bless.

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  3. I love a story with a happy ending.

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    1. A happier ending would have been if the old lady bought me a Guinness. But that did not happen.

      God bless, Kathy.

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  4. A funny story, thanks, Victor

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  5. Funny Story. Labs, my favorite kind of dog!! :)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we used to have black Labs.

      God bless, Happyone.

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  6. A move that has yet to be invented. Hahahaha! I'm so glad the pup and his mistress will live happily ever after.

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    1. At least he found his owner. But that book was really frightening.

      God bless, Mevely.

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  7. Just another dog-day . . .
    Blessings, Victor!

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I was barking up the wrong tree.

      God bless, Martha.

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  8. Dearest Victor,
    That dog must have liked you very much!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. Maybe it is because I always carry dog biscuits in my pocket. I'm on a diet and whenever I feel hungry I eat one or two. Lots of side-effects as a result!

      God bless, Mariette.

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  9. Replies
    1. Me too, I'm so glad I lost that dog.

      God bless, Mimi.

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