The "No Title" Story

 

I was walking home after a gruelling job interview for a Project Management Accountant. They had kept me waiting for a while, then when it was my turn they asked me to stand on tiptoe. Then they told me to do a pirouette. I nearly fell on my face. Then someone suggested a cabriolé and a pas de deux. I told them the first one was a type of car and the other meant father of twins.

I did not get the job. Turned out I was in the wrong place.

So I walked home all dejected and forlorn. Or was it forlorn and dejected?

I looked behind me and discovered I was being followed by a Labrador dog. Perhaps he too had been to the wrong interview. Perhaps he wanted to be a racing horse. Or maybe he was a plain-clothed police dog.

I stopped. He stopped. I started walking again. He followed. I walked faster. So did he. Faster still. He pursued. I ran. He ran too.

I quickly stopped and jumped into a parked taxi. Fooled him.

I told the driver to just drive anywhere in circles and bring me back ten or so minutes later to the same place. He thought I was odd. He tutted and obeyed.

Eventually he dropped me off just by the library. As I got out, another taxi drew up and the dog got out.

How ... how did that happen? What kind of a dog is that?

The driver of the second car got out. He said he saw the dog running after me and assumed I'd left him behind in my hurry. So he brought him to me. He insisted I paid him or he'll teach me a ballet move that has yet to be invented.

I told the dog to sit. He obeyed and I entered the library to hide from him. 

The librarian asked if she could help me. I said, "I'm being followed!"

She offered to ring the police. I explained I was followed by a dog; then just as an excuse I asked for the first book that came to mind.

"Have you a book on paranoia?" I asked.

"It's behind you!" she said.

I jumped out of my skin. There behind me was a book on the shelf entitled "BOOOH !!!" by I M Startled.

I took the book and walked out. The dog was there standing on his hind legs, tail wagging and licking the face of an old lady. She explained that the dog had escaped his lead in the park and she'd been looking for him for the last half-an-hour.

She was so pleased to have found him. 

I was so pleased to have lost him.