Friday 26 October 2018

Mrs Halibut's Cats

I have known Mrs Halibut for about a couple of months or so. She's an old lady I got to know just by accident recently. She lives about a hundred yards or so from the supermarket which I visit from time to time on my way home.

A few weeks ago, I had parked the car opposite her house and on my way for a quick visit to the supermarket when she saw me from her window and called me. She asked me if I could buy her a few tins of cat and dog food from the supermarket. I thought nothing of it, and added her items to my shopping and delivered them to her.

She thanked me and paid me and explained that the tins are too heavy for her to carry. Would I mind calling on her again next time I am round to see if she wanted more tins?

That's the problem with being kind, you see. You do someone a good deed and you end up doing it again and again. Jesus never warned us about that when He asked us to be kind to one another.

Anyway, the following week I called on her. She wanted more tins of pet food and some milk. The week after, it was pet food and some soap and some washing powder. And so it went. For the past six or so weeks I seem to have been caught into this routine of calling on her and adding her shopping to mine. I pay for the shopping separately and give her the receipt to check the price of her purchases.

Last week she asked me in for a cup of tea. I really hesitated. It is not in my nature to be kind and helpful but somehow I get drawn into these situations. Christianity and having a conscience can be a drawback sometimes. Yet again, I feel Jesus should have warned us that helping old ladies with their shopping will eventually mean having tea with them.

I reluctantly agreed to have some tea with her. She led me to the living room and went to the kitchen to prepare the tea.

As I should have guessed, the house was full of cats and dogs wandering everywhere and living happily with each other. I know some elderly, perhaps lonely, people do have pets; but this was excessive I thought. She had seven cats and three dogs of various sizes. Don't miss-understand me; the house was very clean and smelled of lavender. It's just the number of pets that I found odd. By the way, why do so many old folks smell of lavender? Is it to repel moths? I had a grand-mother who always smelled of lavender. You could predict her coming into a room a day before she arrived. The other grand-mother smelled of pot-pourri; (and looked like one). 

Anyway, I digress. As I was waiting for the old lady in the living room I noticed that she had shelves full of glass jars with white labels stuck on them. There were also similar jars on the side board and fireplace mantle piece.

I looked closely at the sealed jars and they seemed to contain a grey powder. The labels read names like "Hector, Tasmania, Silver, Mandarin ... and so on." Also various dates under the names dating back some twenty or so years.

Suddenly, Mrs Halibut entered the room and I was startled out of my nine lives; I must have borrowed some from the cats.

"Ah ... I see you are admiring my collection," she said smiling as she placed the tray full of tea and biscuits on the table.

I smiled back and said nothing as I sat down.

"These are the ashes of all my cats and dogs I have had over the years," she said as she sat beside me.

"Oh ..." I heard myself say.

"I have always loved cats and dogs," she continued, " they have been good companions since my husband died. I have missed every one of them when they passed away. At first I thought of burying them in the garden. I have lived here for forty years. But then I decided to have them cremated by the vet and I kept the ashes. I have written in my Will that all the jars will be emptied and buried with me!"

My mind asked me which glass jar contains her husband, but I focussed and pretended to be interested.

"How sweet ..." I lied as I took a sip of tea which was awful and not sweet at all. It was dandelion tea. Why do people drink this stuff? Just like nettles tea and other similar concoctions? I gulped hard and swallowed a mouthful thinking that kindness has now gone too far. I put the cup down as she said:

"You haven't met Lucy, have you? I'll go and get her." and she got up and left the room. This gave me time to empty the cup of dandelion tea in a nearby plant pot. It's called re-cycling!

She returned moments later carrying a stuffed white cat.

"Lucy died tragically," she said, "a friend of mine was a taxidermist so I asked him to preserve her for me."

You could see clearly on the cat's white body the tyre tracks that had run her over so tragically.

"I reversed the car on her," she said tearfully, "and I did not have the heart to have her cremated. So I had her preserved to remind me of her. I keep her in my bedroom!"

I made some excuse or other and left the house as fast as I could.

From now on I'll just deliver her shopping at the door and leave straight away. Either that, or we will all move house to another continent.

22 comments:

  1. I enjoyed your story. Being kinds is a good thing and I would have done the same for this lonely old woman. Very well done.

    Thanks for participating in Feline Friday.

    Have a fabulous day and weekend. 😎

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    1. Thank you Comedy Plus. It's great to see you visiting here. Please call again soon.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  2. Being kind and helpful is a good thing...but, there are limits as to how far one can go to be nice. You knew the limits that you had to set. I would have set some,too Victor 🍁

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    1. Hi Jan,

      Great to see you here. I think for me the limit was the dandelion tea. Had she given me a Guinness or a whisky, I would have done her shopping every day.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. An very entertaining story to remind us to set boundaries :}

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    1. My boundaries are set at dandelion tea, Chris.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. It's easy to have someone take advantage of you. Boundaries are nice to have.

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    1. Indeed, Bill. One good turn leads to another and another.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. Whoa! I'm unsure what tickled my funny bone most? Medicinal qualities be danged, Dandelion tea is, indeed, awful. What seems like forever, I've disliked lavender because it reminds me of my old, wrinkly, unpleasant neighbor. So glad I'm not the only one.


    So true about Christianity and one's conscience being a drawback!

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    1. Dandelion tea and lavender; what a combination Mevely.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  6. Funny stuff, and so true about Jesus, that being Christian stuff often interferes with my crankiness. Usually being cranky wins out, but it does give me pause.

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    1. I find being a Christian difficult at times. It is not just a badge one wears on one's lapel. It is a way of living. Love one another at all times. Especially when people park their cars in front of my drive and block me in.

      God bless you, JoeH.

      Delete
  7. Yes, loving others is definitely not always easy, Victor, but you have such a clever way of making even the most uncomfortable of situations so comical. The stuffed cat took the cake! Thanks for the chuckle today, my friend!

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    1. You could still see the tyre marks on the cat's body, Martha. Glad I made you smile, though.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  8. I am still giggling because I could be that old cat lady one day!! Not sure about the lavender, though. Strong scents give me headaches!! Still giggling.

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    1. I am so happy that at least I made you laugh, Terri. How many cats have you got?

      God bless you.

      Delete
  9. Always nice to be helpful and kind. At least she paid for the food.
    A bit creepy keeping all her pets ashes!

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    1. Being nice - yes, Happyone. But surely not to cats.

      God bless.

      Delete
  10. I enjoyed your story.

    Lavender is very popular with the older generation.
    Grandmother always used a lavender polish and I seem to recall lavender filled linen pouches which were placed under a pillow for a soothing scent or in drawers to keep clothes fresh and smelling great … that's if you like lavender of course!

    Wishing you a good weekend - the winter chill is on the way, I had to wrap up quite warmly when I went out Friday afternoon.

    All the best Jan

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    1. Yes ... I remember the lavender pouches. The scent can be soothing and help sleep. Have you been to the Norfolk Lavender fields?

      It's certainly getting cold in the UK.

      God bless.

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  11. I have actually requested all my cats' ashes be buried with me, but I would never have a cat or any animal stuffed-ick. I feel bad for the lady though.

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    1. Hello pilch,

      It's so nice to see you visiting here. We hope you call again soon. Thank you for taking the time to comment.

      God bless you.

      Delete

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