Friday 13 September 2019

I lost my banana

Something very odd has happened in our household. We have had a burglar in the house and he stole nothing else but a banana. I kid you not. Not one thing in our house was taken, not one bar of chocolates which I hide somewhere secret, not one of the many books I have authored, nothing taken except for one banana.

It was there in a bowl of fruit. The last item to be eaten before we purchase some more. One lonely banana in all its glory. Not even worth posing for a painting by Caravaggio, Picasso or Cezanne.

And now it's gone.

Everyone in our family claims that they did not take it. And I believe them.

So it leaves two options. Either the dog jumped on the table whilst we were out and ate it. Or a burglar came in and took it.

It can't be the dog, I think. Because the fruit bowl has not been disturbed and there is no sign of banana skin anywhere, unless the dog ate that too.

So it must have been a burglar. And the dog let him in no doubt. He is not much of a guard dog.

I remember we had a similar burglary some years back. It was just after we got married. A burglar entered our house and stole absolutely nothing except for my pictures. I had twenty or so pictures around the house, hanging on the wall, on the mantelpiece, side board and so on, of me in various poses, all taken by professional photographers. All these photos of me were taken and nothing else.

I wanted to call the police but my wife discouraged me. She said they'd never believe a thief would just steal only my photos; unless he was a great fan of mine that is.

So I did nothing.

Many years later I found all these photos, still in their frames, up in the loft covered in dust.

What kind of burglar is it that steals photos and then hides the loot up in the loft?

So I went up there and looked for my banana. I did not find it. But I found a number of other items I had lost over the years. Like the collection of antique door handles which I had started as a hobby before I got married. And the book about gaining friends and influencing people. A lot of good that did me in my youth; everyone avoided me as soon as they saw me. And that T shirt with the sexy slogan I used to wear. These and many other things were up in the attic. But no banana.

I think something strange is happening around here. How could the dog manage to take all these things and hide them in the loft. You'd think his instincts would be to bury them in the garden.

Maybe that's where he buried the banana!

Any ideas?

18 comments:

  1. I do believe Watson, that I have solved this theft crime of the banana...your wife is the main suspect.
    she hid all of the other items in the attic for reasons that only she knows. She had an accomplice...your dog. He stood guard as she moved all of the evidence to your attic.
    Then she worried that you would be suspicious of her after you found your loot so she took the last banana and fed it to your dog as a treat and buried the peeling in the backyard. She is very clever, your wife.

    God's Blessings~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surely not ... the dog is an accomplice? After all the dog biscuits I bought him?

      Keep smiling, Jan. God bless you.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Now that is more plausible. That I could believe.

      God bless you, Chris.

      Delete
  3. I know who hid those items in the attic, that's for sure! As for the banana? Maybe, your wife ate that, too. LOL!
    Blessings, Victor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But why would she hide all those wonderful photos of me in the attic?

      God bless, Martha my friend.

      Delete
  4. Lost a banana, but not your a peel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh what a nice thing to say. Thanx JoeH.

      God bless you always my friend.

      Delete
  5. Not sure if I should be singing, "Yes, We Have No Bananas" or "Who Are You? Who, who, who who."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any song will do, Mevely, as long as it is happy.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  6. The banana slipped away quietly when non one was around. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually Bill, you raise a very interesting point. Banana trees DO walk. As the shoots grow along the ground rather than downwards, the pseudostem that produces the bananas can move slightly over the years. Thus the “walking”. Banana plants walk up to 40 centimeters in a lifetime.

      God bless you Bill. Great comment.

      Delete
  7. I'm of the opinion that it is your wife too. At least she didn't throw them away!! : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're all making me doubt my wife now.

      God bless, Happyone.

      Delete
  8. Well, now. that is a conundrum for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's amazing what we find up in the loft or attic!

    However, I do think your wife could be number one suspect here … she may have eaten the banana to give her extra energy to climb up into the loft!

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are probably right, Jan. But why did she hide my photos?

      God bless.

      Delete

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