Thursday 7 April 2022

My Celebrity Past


I don't often say much about myself because I like to leave certain things private. I have mentioned that I did some stage work presenting shows for charity and also some radio work. But what I have never mentioned, until now, is that I could have been a well-known celebrity of the stage and screen; both movies and TV. Had this happened, I would probably not be writing books and posting on this Blog; and I would not have known any of you my readers. So I guess it all turned up well after all.

For example, did you know I was short-listed, down to the last five, for the star role in the film Lassie? I failed because I could not run fast enough and jump over fences. I wore a furry type coat and ran on all fours, but could not see properly through the tiny holes in the dog's head. I kept hitting trees full on and bleeding through the nose. They eventually gave the role to a real dog which they trained especially for the movie.

Also, years previously I did have a minor role in a re-make of the Victor Hugo book made into a film "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". I was the hump on the back of Quasimodo. I had to jump on the actor's back and hide under his extra large coat. As I did not have a speaking role they did not mention my name in the credits at the end of the film.

And that's not all. I also appeared, fully visible in the great movie about Cyrano de Bergerac. Again, not a speaking role, but this time fully visible, unlike my role as Quasimodo's lump on his back. In this film I was Cyrano's nose. I just hung there throughout the movie and no one even noticed.

Another major role was as the nail in Frankenstein's neck. One movie critic said my acting was a solid performance albeit a little rusty which should never again to be emulated.

So there you have it. At last modesty got the better of me and I have let it be known that at some stage, in the distant past, I too was a celebrity of sorts. I could have been famous and people would ask me for my autograph. Never copied or rivalled by the greatest of the great. Instead, I missed it by a nose, or a hump. I did not nail it at all.


  1. You're definitely better off. Celebrities gat hounded by the press and even by ordinary people wanting autographs and "selfies" ALL the time. Who wants that? Not me that's for sure.

    1. Yes, I think you've got a point, River. I don't want people to follow me in the supermarket and see what I buy.

      God bless.

  2. You may well have got the part of Lassie..
    As it was always played by a 'Dog' not a
    female..but by a dog, male, as a male dog was
    bigger and better looking than the female..!
    So..ALL..nine (9) lassies used in all the series,
    were male dogs..!

    And loads of jokes about Quasimodo..
    What car does Quasimodo drive?
    The Hatchback of Notre Dame..

    Where did Quasimodo keep his rabbits?
    In a hutch, back of Notre Dame..

    Which actor could never play Quasimodo?
    Humpfree Bogart..

    Oh! By the way Victor...Frankenstein was
    the doctor, and it was his creation/monster
    that had a 'bolt' through it's neck, not a
    nail..! HeHe! :).

    Your just as famous as you are Victor, and
    in what you do..your writings etc are brilliant,
    very funny and certainly make me laugh even after
    several reading..!
    So once you get out the habit of scratching yer
    hump and picking yer'll be fine...! :O).
    ✨ 🎼 ✨ 🎶 ✨ 🎼 ✨ 🎶 ✨ 🎼 ✨ 🎶 ✨

    1. I'm so glad you enjoy my writings, Willie. Thanx.

      Did you know you can download some of my books FREE from

      Why not share them with your friends?

      God bless.

    2. Yes! I knew that Victor..
      But! As l've said..l don't read books..
      Book~Books that is, books full of pages
      with just words on..
      I have a problem, one l've had ALL my life,
      patience..or lack of it..l've even had
      treatment for it, over the years, l'm
      running around on the ceiling most of the
      time..not life threatening, just the way
      l've 'never' read any classics,
      famous novels or authors, a few books as
      long as there's pictures..HeHe! Like comics!

      So the only thing l share with family and
      friends are jokes and funny stories..and,
      all verbally..HeHe! "Time upon a once.."

  3. ...I've never had an celebrity past or a celebrity present and it's doubtful that I will have a celebrity future!

    1. You are a celebrity in the photographic world.

      God bless, Tom.

  4. You could have been a contender if only... :)

  5. Dearest Victor,
    Guess you can feel very blessed for not having been a celebrity as there are very few that remain down to earth, sincere and kind!
    It is far better for just remaining in touch with others and not inflating your own image over and over again. Once it deflates; that is it as there often is no SOUL in it...

  6. WE are so proud of you. Modest to a fault, But that's okay I would rather know you as Victor than Whatshisname! But if you had practiced more you coulda jumped that fence. ;-)

    1. The problem is that I was easily distracted by the trees rather than jumping the fence!

      Thank you for your kindness Jack and Sherry. God bless.

  7. You're one of the closest things to a celebrity I've known.

    1. What a nice and kind thing to say, Kathy. Thank you so much.

      God bless you.

  8. You do or could have lived an interesting life. A nail in Frank's neck would not be the best choice.

    1. I thought I'd nailed it with that film part.

      God bless you, Susan.

  9. The closest I came to fame and fortune was under the cloak of a wooly mammoth in Wilder's 'Skin of Our Teeth.' Not all it's cracked up to be!

    1. As you say, fame is not what everyone thinks it is. At least my dog likes me!

      God bless you and yours, Mevely.

  10. Replies
    1. You're so kind, Mimi. Many thanx my friend.

      God bless always.

  11. Talk about bit parts . . .
    I'm glad you are a writer and a blogger, Victor. You found your calling!

    1. Thank you so much for your kind loyal support of my writings, Martha.

      God bless you always.



God bless you.