Wednesday 6 April 2022

Never Pick An Argument With A Woman


My Grandfather told me years ago never to have an argument with a woman.

DISCLAIMER: I don't think he meant all women. Some women are very reasonable you know ... like those visiting here.

(Phew ... ... ... that was close!)

As I was saying ... a few days ago I got into an argument with a woman without even saying a word. I was at the supermarket minding my own business and doing the shopping whilst following the list I was given when I heard this female voice behind me.

"You mustn't buy that melon," she said, "it is not ripe. It's as hard as stone and will taste of cucumber. It will never ripen at home. Here, let me help you."

She picked up another melon and said, "You've got to squeeze them hard here, and here, and see if the skin gives under your thumb. If it does, it is ripe. If not, put it back for some other mug to buy it!"

I said nothing and smiled.

"I see you got some tomatoes," she continued, picking them from my trolley, "they are too soft and squelchy. You need them a bit harder for a salad. Here, let me change them for you. And that cucumber too ... it's too short and will taste bitter. Short cues always do, because they have not matured properly. I'll get you a better one."

I was about to say something but then I remembered my Grandfather's advice. I did not want to start an argument with her in public. Certainly not in the supermarket. 

I got thrown out of there once for standing in the "baskets only" checkout queue when I had a trolley. I explained that I had only two items in my trolley, fewer than any of the other people with baskets with several items. But the manageress won the argument and threw me out. My Grandad was right all along. Women!!!

Anyway, I said nothing as she came back with another packet of tomatoes and a new cucumber. She then rummaged into my trolley and criticised my choice of bread, the cheese I had bought, and several other items which were wrong and could be improved with her help. 

To add to my embarrassment, she picked up an item and said in a loud voice, "shame on you buying this ... you being Catholic and all!"

That's when my wife came on the scene having been elsewhere in the shop and she said, "Mom ... leave him alone. I am training him to do the shopping!"

So there you are ... never pick an argument with a woman; especially your mother-in-law.

I remember on another occasion my wife and I were walking in the park and we saw three men attacking mom-in-law and trying to steal her handbag. I stood there shocked.

My wife said, "aren't you going to help?"

I said, "No ... three against one is a fair fight; your mom would lose if it was four against one!"


  1. difficult to win argument, PERIOD!

    1. Especially with a woman. I have won an argument with a TV set, a computer, a chair, but never with a woman.

      God bless, Tom.

  2. Phew! All behind to~day..Wednesday is
    ladies coffee morning..started at eleven..
    just o'clock..! :).

    One thing l love in life and that's a good
    set to with a female..woman..girl..and
    especially in a supermarket..won't bore you
    will the stories, but..l've come out on top,
    can l say that, in every case..and..l'll come
    out with you Victor..'WOMEM~CAN'T~SHOP'...! :(.

    HeHe! If my daughter was writing this..she'd
    come out straight and say it.."My Dad's a sexist".

    And..If l saw a woman pocking a melon, cucumber
    or any other fruit or vegetable, l'd certainly
    have something to say..and..made sure everyone
    in the supermarket heard it..! Silly 'meadow~lady'..
    Get back in the field where you belong..! :O).

    Let's hope you'll post over the next few days Victor,
    keep looking over your shoulder, and always sit with
    your back to the wall..Good Luck..! :O).
    🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟

    1. A couple go on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota...

      The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn...
      The wife likes to read.

      One morning the husband returns after several hours
      of fishing and decides to take a nap...
      Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out...

      She motors out a short distance, anchors and continues to read her book...
      Along comes a game warden in his boat...

      He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am...
      What are you doing?"

      "Reading a book," she replies...

      (thinking isn't that obvious?) "You're in a
      restricted fishing area", he informs her...

      "I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading..

      "Yes, but you have all the equipment...
      For all I know you could start at any moment...
      I'll have to take you in and write you up...

      "If you do, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman...

      "But I have not even touched you," says the game warden...

      "That's true, but you have all the equipment...
      For all I know you could start at any moment."

      "Have a nice day ma'am," and he left...

      MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads...
      It is likely she can also think...! :O).

    2. I do hate it when shoppers poke various fruits and vegetables and then don't buy it. It spoils and gets thrown away adding to waste and increased prices.

      God bless, Willie.

  3. Timely, we did have a lady tell us how to buy potatoes the other day, honest.

    1. Why do some people give shopping advice when we don't need it. A woman I don't even know told me the tie I was about to buy did not suit me. I was wearing a T shirt at the time.

      God bless Jack and Sherry.

  4. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, that is a humorous story and there is often a lot of truth in it.
    We both have known such women and it's BEST to keep your mouth shut or it never will end.

  5. Who wants to buy items that have been squeezed by lots of people. I see that a lot. :)

    1. It spoils the fruit and causes a lot of wastage which is passed on in higher prices.

      God bless, Bill.

  6. Cute twist on your story! Your MIL sounds much like my former husband's mom. In retrospect, her intentions were good; I should have been more appreciative.

    1. I'm always being told what to do by women. I never win an argument.

      God bless, Mevely.

  7. How about if you and i have an argument, i'll say the sky is green, and you say it's blue, and since you are right, you'll win!

    1. Nope ... the sky is not blue. It has no colour. It is the reflection of the seas which cover most of the Earth. Also it is reflected light on dust particles in the atmosphere. You win. The sky is not blue, especially at night.

      God bless, Mimi.



God bless you.