There was this French speaking couple, (I don't know where from). They were here on holiday, and they told their friend where they were staying, that they wanted a divorce. Their friend brought them to the centre to meet a Marriage Counsellor. As they spoke no English I was called in to translate.
After the introductions, the Counsellor started with the first question, "How many times a week do you have sex?"
"You can't ask them that," I told her instead of translating.
"Why not?" she replied looking at me sternly.
"For a start it is a personal question," I said, "and secondly, judging by the size of him, he would pulverise me!"
"It seems to me that you are afraid of the question," she said accusingly, "are you afraid of being intimate?"
"The only intimacy I am afraid of is his big fist against my face," I said, and not timidly either.
"So ..." she continued, "we have a couple here wanting to divorce. The first thing to find out is how close, how intimate, they are to each other. Do you consider you will ever divorce?" she asked me.
"No ... never ..." I replied emphatically.
"Why not?" she asked.
"Because I love my house," I said, "and the car too. Just bought it and would hate to lose it in a divorce"
"I think you and your wife need Marriage Guidance too," she advised, "my husband is also a Marriage Counsellor. Why don't we all four meet. Me and my husband and you and your wife?"
"I'd rather not," I replied more emphatically than before, "for a start it's too personal, and secondly our bed is too small for the four of us!"
In the meantime, the French speaking couple sat there silently. So I took the lead, and moving a touch backwards for security, I asked the huge man in French and in a French accent, "Monsieur ... do you love your wife?"
"Mais oui ... yes, very much so," he replied.
I was taken aback. I then asked his wife, also in French and in a French accent, "Madame ... do you love your husband?"
"Mais oui ... yes, more than very much so," she replied looking at him.
I was surprised but could not go back any further because my chair was against the wall.
I then asked, "why then do you want to divorce?"
It transpired that it was cheaper. In their country, two single individuals pay less tax than a married couple. So it would be better if they were divorced and living, and loving, together.
I said, "but isn't your love for each other worth the extra tax you have to pay?"
She wiped a tear or two from her eyes. He suddenly got up, and before I could move, he kissed me on both cheeks and they then left.
"What's going on?" asked the Marriage Counsellor.
"They've decided to hire a room and go make love!" I said.
...for 55 years we haven't needed a marriage counselor!
ReplyDeleteTom, where do marriage counsellors go for relationship advice? Do they advise each other?
DeleteGod bless you and your wife.
Many years ago I knew once such couple! For tax purposes they were divorced and lived in separate communities. Each weekend or holiday, however, they dated and vacationed ... and appeared to be gloriously in love. What a world!
ReplyDeleteThe world has gone crazy. There's a conspiracy against marriage.
DeleteGod bless, Mevely.
Years ago a friend went to a marriage counsellor and the counsellor was on her third marriage.
ReplyDeleteAmazing. I wonder what advice she could give.
DeleteGod bless you, Bill.
It's quite a topsy-turvy world where it's more economically advantageous to NOT be married. This one did make me chuckle, Victor.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
In a sad and confused world sometimes I find refuge in laughter.
DeleteI saw this scenario on TV lately. It was a "live" program about marriage guidance and the first question the counsellor asked the couple was "how many times a week do you have sex?" I could not understand why a couple, supposedly having difficulties in their relationship, would be happy to talk openly about private matters on TV.
I gave up and changed to the sports channel. And I don't like sports.
God bless, Martha.
You gave better marriage advice than the counselor ever could have.
ReplyDeleteIt's a crazy world. There was a man from here who loved his wife and daughters very, very much. The wife was in an accident and was in a permanent vegetative state and would never come out of it. She needed 24-hour care and he had to work and raise his girls, so he needed to put her in a nursing home.
He, of course, couldn't afford that so he had to divorce his wife to get the state to help pay for her care. He and the girls oversaw her care and visited her a lot and stuck with her to the end, but he had to do it as an ex-spouse granted medical power of attorney by her elderly parents, as they couldn't do it, either.
What a sad state of affairs, Mimi; that the man had to divorce his wife to get state help. Thank you for telling us this story.
DeleteGod bless.
We were having some problems a long time ago now but we went to a marriage counselor who was a Christian. Each session started and ended with prayer. We learned to put God FIRST and everything else just fell into place. It was the best thing we ever did!!
ReplyDeleteWell said, Happyone. Put God first in everything.
DeleteGod bless you both.
I don't need marriage counseling anymore since the Chaplain told me to get my a$$ in gear and listen to my wife. I just knew you woulod be a good marriage counselor... LOL
ReplyDeleteSherry ^ jack enjoyed the visit.
Thank you Jack and Sherry for your kind words. I believe marriage is an equal partnership where one does all the talking and the other is the husband.
DeleteGod bless always my friends.