I usually cut my own hair. I stand in front of a mirror and with a pair of scissors ... snip ... snip ... all done. Front ... back ... sides ... and I look like the hedge in our garden.
I dislike going to the barbers or hairdressers. I hate people touching me. But I was forced to go to look presentable for a wedding. It would have been easier and cheaper to turn down the invitation but I was over-ruled!
He sat me there and leant me back in the chair. He put an over sized napkin round my neck as if I'm a baby. Touched my hair and made inane and insulting comments like, "who cut your hair the last time?"
He then asked, "How would you like your hair cut?"
I said I wanted a Tony Curtis hairstyle.
He took his electric machine and shaved my head
totally bald. I was livid. Really mad. "You've shaved me totally
bald," I cried, "do you even know who Tony Curtis is?"
"Indeed I
do," he replied, "I saw him in The King And I fifteen times."
It took me a few weeks for my hair to grow back. Guess what? Another wedding invitation.
I was forced to go to another hairdresser. He asked me how I’d like my hair cut. I looked at
him and said, “Like yours!”
He shaved my head
totally bald. I was livid again. I said, “that’s not like yours!”
He replied, “Yes it
is, but mine has grown again now!”
A few more weeks later and you guessed it. Yet another wedding invitation. My wife insisted I go for another haircut.
I went to yet another hairdresser. He asked me how I’d like my hair cut. He had a
photo of Gary Cooper. I pointed at the photo and said, “like him!”
He shaved my head
totally bald. I was really livid, more than before. I said, “That’s not what
Gary Cooper looks like!”
He replied, “He would
if he came here for a haircut! That's all I know how to do.”
I think people should stop getting married.
