I hope you had a nice Christmas with family and friends and that you received wonderful presents. Let us know what Santa got you.
This year the family wanted something different. Something unique. They wanted a unicorn. I tried to explain that unicorns do not exist but I was outnumbered. Apparently they exist and they wanted one.
I tried several pet shops, and stables around us, and farms too. No unicorns. I searched the Internet but could not find any website selling unicorns. So I placed an advert on social media: UNICORN WANTED - WILLING TO PAY GOOD PRICE.
So I went to this farm some 20 miles away. You wouldn't believe it. They had a live unicorn. I was so pleased to have found this rare mythical creature. The seller told me it was unique. Apparently, this unicorn, apart from being the only one in the world, it is also the only one who can count. I couldn't believe it.
"Come on, try it!" said the salesman, "ask him to do a sum."
"What's five plus five?" I asked. The unicorn did not react. I waited a minute, then two, then another minute ... nothing.
"You caught him by surprise," said the seller, "He needs to be run in. To warm up; like athletes do before they go on a run or do gymnastics. They need to warm up. Ask him an easy one!"
"What's one plus nothing?" I asked. The unicorn did not react. We waited a minute, then two, then another minute ... then the unicorn snorted as they do, "Pffrrttt ..."
"There you are," said the salesman, "he said one. Let's try another, what's two take away one?"
The unicorn went, "Pffrrttt" again.
"Isn't he clever?" said the salesman, "not only can he count, but he is also multilingual. Speak to him in any language!"
I stepped back a few steps and said, "venez ici!" The unicorn did not move.
"Vai via!" I said. He did not move.
"Tienes hambre?" I asked, meaning 'Are you hungry?' ". The animal did not react at all. He just went "Pffrrttt!"
"You see," said the salesman enthusiastically, "he said 'I don't care' in French. That's how they say it ... Pffrrttt!"
I ignored his sales pitch and noticing the creature closely I remarked, "I see it has a carrot stuck to his head instead of a horn. Why is that?"
"Oh, that's a temporary horn," he said, "his real horn broke when he tried to ring the doorbell by pressing the button with his horn. The vet stuck this carrot until his real horn grows again!"
Anyway, because of that slight damage he gave me a reduction to the selling price.
We had a unique Christmas present as a family this year. We kept the unicorn at a stables nearby owned by a family friend. Unfortunately, the other horses ate the carrot on its head.
We now have the only unicorn in the world without a horn. That's unique, don't you think?
Let us first of all thank the Lord for yet another year together. I am truly grateful to all of you who have visited me here whether you left a comment or not. Over the past year, and before that even, we have exchanged news, shared jokes and have come together in prayers and friendship. For this I thank you.
I pray that you all have a very blessed Christmas with family and friends or even if you are alone; and may our Lord be always by your side giving you comfort, protection and love at all times.
Dear friends, this is worth repeating, especially at this time of year, because there are many people who do not believe, or even do not want to believe. They have set their mind against believing or even considering the possibility that they might be wrong.
Jesus is the only Son of God and He was born of a virgin as a human here on earth.
Jesus has always existed as a Spirit, just like God and the Holy Spirit - known as the Trinity. He did not begin to exist when He was born here on earth. This is when He took a human bodily form.
When the time was right, God decided to send His Son here on earth as a human so that we might get to know Him personally. To see Him, listen to Him and speak to Him; and to witness His power through miracles and His eternal love for us. He came to build a bridge between God and sinning humanity. To see and know Jesus is to see and know God. There is no way to God apart from through Jesus.
Now God had three choices as I see it.
He could have sent Jesus as a Superman type person. He could have suddenly appeared on a cloud as a grown up human and taught through His powers and miracles. We would have been frightened out of our minds and followed Him through fear and total submission. Hardly the act of a loving Father God, is it?
His second choice would have been to send Jesus as a human baby born of a man and woman. He would have been a holy man just like the prophets or John the Baptist; and no doubt we would have treated Him the same way. Disbelief, derision, mockery and put to death like we did to the prophets.
But God decided to send Him as a union between Divinity and humanity. He was born through the Holy Spirit and a virgin human. A Spirit God made man. And He was resurrected by God as proof and to glorify God Almighty our Creator.
But many do not believe all this, as I mentioned. This is partly through obstinacy and stubbornness and partly because Jesus is not often mentioned in our schools.
He is taught as part of Christianity, Religious Instructions or Sunday school lessons. And if you miss these lessons as not important then you have a whole generation not knowing Jesus albeit they may have heard of Him. Jesus is not taught as part of history. But He is very much a part of human history as Caesar, Pilate, Alexander the Great or any other person you may mention. Even more so than any of them. Jesus existed here on earth as a human and claimed to be the Son of God and died for saying so.
Now here's an important thing we may have missed. There is only one other person who knew for certain that Jesus is the Son of God. That is Mary herself. She knew that she had not been with any man and yet she was pregnant with Jesus. Joseph did not know that for certain, nor anyone else. But Mary did.
Over thirty years later, she saw her son arrested, beaten, tortured, and horribly nailed to a Cross and left to die.
Now, if He was not the Son of God, any loving mother would have shouted, "Stop. He is not the Son of God. He is an ordinary man and He is mentally ill. Delusional. Spare Him and let Him go."
But she did not do that. She, and Jesus, went through the whole agony of the Crucifixion because she knew the truth.
Jesus is the Son of God and through Him we go to God.
Last night some friends invited us to a Christmas Party. It was held in a large hall and they had over fifty guests and a wonderful Italian band. Here's a short video of me dancing with my wife. Grab your partner and join in.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I dressed as Santa on Christmas day and delivered presents to a number of children having a party organised by some friends of ours. My friend Harry dressed as an elf and was Santa's helper carrying the parcels and delivering presents to the kids.
After the meal, and as the children were enjoying their toys he said, "I've got a special present for you!"
I explained that we don't really need presents and that just our friendship is enough. It was more an excuse than reality since in truth I had not got him anything. I don't like this idea of giving presents as it always puts me under an obligation to give a present of equal or greater value to the giver. But anyway, Harry would not hear of it.
"It's a really special present," he said, "more of an adventure you'll never forget!"
Now I know there are organisations that provide adventure presents; like a day racing a car round the track, or parachute jumps, or water skiing and so on. And to be honest I was not keen on such pursuits. The best adventure I enjoy is sitting in my armchair with a drink in hand. But to be nice and sociable, which is in my nature anyway, I feigned interest and pretended to be excited.
Harry reminded me that he is a fully qualified crane driver and that he'd take me for a ride on the building site in town where he's working at the moment.
"What?" I said in disbelief. But he's not one to be stopped easily in his enthusiasm. He explained that it was safe, and that I'd see the whole town from up there, and I could take photos with my cell phone, and ... and ... and ...
And to cut a long story short we drove there, still in our costumes. I hated the journey up in that little elevator going up slowly. It certainly was not my idea of fun. But he was in his element showing me how the controls work. How he could turn the crane round and do this and that and so on. Eventually, after what seemed hours, it was time to get down again.
You guessed it. The elevator would not work. He pressed this and that button, opened and shut the door several times, he swore and cursed, (have you ever seen a rude elf?), but the elevator would not work. He rang his boss on the cell-phone and there was no one there. So he left a "Merry Christmas" message.
Then he rang the Fire Brigade. He told them this was an emergency but not the usual kind. There was no fire as such but we were stuck up a crane and the emergency is that I'd had two cups of coffee and needed to go to the toilet and could not do it from up there for fear of being seen. Could they come quickly but without the sirens blaring and flashing lights.
What seemed like ages afterwards, the Fire Brigade did turn up. They fiddled with the mechanism at the bottom of the crane and within seconds we were heading down to safety again.
When they saw us in our costumes, one of them said, "In future stick to reindeer and sleigh, Santa. It's safer!"
So, how was your Christmas? Quiet? Peaceful? Blessed? With family and friends? Or like mine?
We were due to go to friends for lunch. They live quite some miles away. I was due to make an entrance as Father Christmas and bring some toys for their children and a number of other under-privileged children in the area. They hold these events every year.
An hour or so before the event they ring in a panic. Their microwave oven has broken down. They need at least four microwaves to prepare various dishes for about thirty kids and parents. Mostly to warm dishes. They use the main oven to cook.
I was already dressed as Santa. I take our microwave from the kitchen .... Damn ... Who's the idiot who left half a bowl of soup in there? Soup everywhere. I clean the microwave. Place it in the car and drive to my friend Paul; meanwhile my family ring him asking him to have his microwave ready for collection.
I get to Paul, take the microwave from his wife and explain what's happened and leave. Meanwhile the family has phoned Jackie. I go to her and collect her microwave. And drive on to Susan, who also has kindly loaned us her microwave. They're going out for Christmas meal and don't need their oven; besides, she can't cook anyway.
I drive off at speed to our hosts with four microwave ovens in the boot. Blue lights flashing behind me. I stop. The policeman asked me, "In a hurry, Santa? What's happened to your reindeer and sleigh?"
I tried to explain the emergency. He does not believe me and thinks I'm a burglar with a penchant for microwaves. Also with a car load of toys on the back seats. He asks me to follow him to the police station.
I am put in a cell until they find a lawyer to represent me whilst I am to be interviewed. Meantime our hosts are waiting for the microwaves and my family is waiting for me to get back home and pick them up and go to our hosts. They get tired of waiting and go there by taxi.
I'm allowed one phone call. I phone home. No one there to answer the phone. The police get more suspicious. A man dressed as Santa, no proof of identity, with four microwave ovens and possibly a stolen car too.
I wait until the lawyer arrives. He phones my hosts and clears the matter up. The police let me go.
So, how was your Christmas? Quiet? Peaceful? Blessed? With family and friends? Or like mine?
It was five days before Christmas, Father Ignatius drove into the car park and was about to enter the Parish house when he noticed a man standing by the Church door. He walked up to him and the man asked: “Have you got something for me to eat?”
He was in his fifties perhaps, although he looked much older. Unshaven, wearing dirty clothes with tears down the pockets, an open shirt revealing skin that had not been washed since who knows when, and shoes with no socks.
“I’m not from around here …” said the man, “just got off the train … I hid amongst the cattle and no one saw me …” he continued with a grin revealing missing teeth.
The smell of his clothes certainly testified to the fact that he slept amongst cattle, thought the priest.
“I think you’re in need of a good warm bath …” he said without thinking, “follow me …”
He took the man into the Parish house, led him to the bathroom and filled the bath with hot water. He then brought a large plastic bag and asked him to put all his clothes inside it. “I’ll try and find you something new to wear. We’ll have to throw your old clothes away …” said the priest as he left him to it.
He then looked through his own wardrobe and found a few bits and pieces which he no longer needed; and complemented these with other items of clothing donated by parishioners for the monthly jumble/rummage sale.
Half an hour later the man was clean and dressed, minus his shoes. The priest noticed that his toe-nails had not been cut for ages. So he sat him down, went down on his hands and knees and cut his nails for him; for it was obvious the man could not even bend down and do this for himself.
He then took him to the kitchen and prepared a lovely meal of fried eggs, bacon, sausages, black pudding and fried bread. Followed with coffee and toast and marmalade.
It was getting rather dark by mid-afternoon when the man finished eating; so Father Ignatius got him in his car and drove him to the St Bernard Shelter for the Homeless at the other side of town.
On his way back Father Ignatius could not get the man out of his mind. “What a miserable place this town is …” he thought to himself, “high levels of unemployment … businesses shutting down … people losing their jobs and their homes even … I wonder how many are sleeping rough this Christmas."
His thoughts then turned to his parishioners. “This is definitely the poorest Parish I’ve been assigned to,” he thought as he drove home, “I wonder how many of our old folk will have a miserable Christmas … sitting at home with little if anything to eat … Miss Fletcher for instance … seventy years old and all alone … and the Palmers … both in their eighties … and Mr Sanders …” and the names kept coming to mind as he drove mile after mile.
When he reached the Parish house he was determined to do something about the old folk in his congregation. He decided to invite those whom he knew to be alone and with little money to a Christmas dinner at the Church hall.
He rushed to his office and started by writing a list of people he’d invite. A few minutes later and the list ran to twenty-seven people, all elderly, all poor, all of them he knew very well would spend Christmas day alone in their homes with little to celebrate.
He then started another list of what would be needed to prepare a lovely Christmas meal and to his dismay it totalled over £100.
And his dream was shattered in an instant. Where was he to find such a large sum of money? The Sunday collections hardly amounted to twenty pounds or so a week and every penny was needed for the up-keep of the church, the Parish house, the car and sundry other expenses.
He decided to stop thinking about this project. Doomed before it even started. Thankfully he had not shared his thoughts with anybody. Not his fellow priest, nor the housekeeper.
He looked at the clock and went to church to celebrate evening Mass.
The next morning there was a large brown envelope in the letter box with Father Ignatius’ name written on it in large letters. It had been hand-delivered as it did not have a stamp or postmark. Just his name in bold capitals.
He took it to his office and on opening it he found it contained £150 in bank notes.
There was nothing to signify who had sent it; but it was obviously for him as the envelope had his name clearly written on it.
He did hold his Christmas party for the old folk that year; but he never found out who sent him the money.
This happened many years ago when Father Ignatius first arrived at St Vincent Church. Since then he has held a Christmas party for the old people every year; with money donated by various rich and not so rich parishioners.
NOTE: This story is based on true facts. I have known a priest to go down on his knees to cut the toe nails of a poor person who called on his house for something to eat. And I've known another priest who got a donation of money anonimously just as he needed it to feed some poor folks in his parish.
Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight.
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia,
Christ the Saviour is born!
Christ the Saviour is born
Silent night, holy night!
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and Child.
Holy infant so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace
It was Christmas eve and at the
end of their first date , a young man takes his favourite girl home. Emboldened
by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and,
smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease?..."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her
pyjamas, hair dishevelled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: "Dad says to
go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down
himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the
intercom button!"
I have just begun my food
shopping for Christmas. The store was heaving with people pushing and shoving
to complete their shopping. Eventually, having got a few items, I did my good
deed for the day.
At the checkout, I duly waited
behind a sweet old lady at the till. Her bill came to £58.83 but when she
counted out all of her change she only had just under £10.
I thought she was probably someone's Nan and
I'd like to think someone would have helped my Nan out just before Christmas if
she's in a similar situation.
She didn't want my help but I
insisted, and in no time at all we had all of her shopping back on the shelves again.
What did Santa get in the North Pole whilst
sitting on the ice too long? - Polaroids!
I asked my wife if she would like a necklace for Christmas, she said
nothing will please her more. So I got her nothing instead
For Christmas, I bought my wife a world map and gave her a dart. I told
her to throw it and wherever it lands, we will go on vacation in the New Year.
Turns out we are spending two
weeks behind the fridge.
I asked my boss, “Can I have a few days off seeing as it's so close to
Christmas?”
He said, “It's May.”
“Sorry,” I replied, “May I have a few days off seeing as it's so close to
Christmas?”
I think Christmas should be moved to January. The stores are less crowded and
everything is on sale.
This Christmas, I got a new car for my wife
I thought it was a great trade.
What is the librarians favourite
Christmas song?
Silent Night
Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a
present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...
So this is Christmas. Many people are preparing for the big day. Buying food and drinks, wrapping presents, putting up the Christmas tree and decorations, and doing many other things to be ready for the celebrations.
But what is it all about?
Of course, the Christian message is that Christ was born as a child and was born of a Virgin here on earth.
We all know that. We heard it and said it so often that it rolls of the tongue and has become a yearly litany. But let's ask again, seriously this time: What is it all about?
To many people who do not truly believe in God the Christian message is heard with a "Yeah ... Yeah ... we've heard it all before", as they continue to prepare for the secular festivities. " The message of the Nativity is drowned by the Carol singing, albeit many are Christian based, and the music and singing and dancing.
But how about the Christians? How do they view the feast of Christmas? Is the message really understood and revered for what it is?
Let us start from the true fact that God exists. He is an omnipotent all caring and all loving, living Creator Being. No one has seen Him; and we assume that He is a Spirit. Existing yet invisible. He communicated with us in the past through the prophets and Jewish elders, and He does with us today in many ways and forms.
When the time was right, and when He believed we were receptive in mind and body, He sent Jesus to earth so that He, (God), would experience humanity in all its form, and we, (humans), would get to see God and hear Him and speak to Him.
This event, the coming of Jesus into the world changed the whole course of humanity. It even changed the calendar from BC to AD, and changed our lives for ever ... if we choose to believe.
Now God could have chosen many ways to send Jesus, who was/is fully human and fully God, to earth.
He could have sent Him as a Spirit. A presence that was felt and heard and experienced. How do you think we humans would have reacted to that? Perhaps by running away as if we've seen a ghost, (Spirit), or by scoffing in incredulity unless we experienced Him personally.
God could have sent Jesus as a fully grown-up man. Appearing from nowhere. Powerful, omnipotent, loving and caring. A bit like Superman or similar hero. How would we have reacted then? We would have been so frightened out of our minds with fear and submission that we would have done anything He said to be spared of the consequences. Hardly the act of a loving God to force us into submission by fear and threats.
God could have sent Jesus as a baby born of a man and woman like all of us. He would then be accepted as "one of us" would He not? But then, we did not accept the prophets in the past, and people like Abraham, Moses and others. Why would a Jesus born out of humanity be any different?
God decided to send us Jesus born from a Virgin by the power of the Holy Spirit. Fully God and fully human. To experience humanity in all its facets and to share in our strengths and weaknesses. Jesus was tempted by the devil, as we often are. He was tired when He fell asleep in the boat, as we often are. He was thirsty by the well, and needed food and nourishment as we often are. He felt pain when beaten, tortured, and nailed to the Cross to die horribly.
He experienced humanity to the full; and in doing so, He taught us how to overcome our earthly journey with all its pains and obstacles and how to prepare for an eternity with our loving Father in Paradise. He came to prepare the Way. That was His Mission.
And yet today, as we prepare the dinner table, the presents and the music, there are many who refuse to believe. It is not a matter that they do not believe through ignorance. Because they do not know. It is because they obstinately and willingly refuse to believe that an omnipotent living Being exists and that He visited us in person.
So how about us Christians? If we are to have a positive impact on people around us, do we really ... really ... understand the implications of the reality of Christmas?
Let those who truly believe live their journeys in such a way that it makes others want what we have in their lives. Amen.
Christmas is such a lovely time. It always takes me back to my childhood when we used to visit Nan Melba. Nan Melba was not really my grandmother, not genetically that is. You could say she was genetically modified. She was an elderly friend of my parents and out of courtesy we called her Nan Melba.
She lived a few miles away, so a few days before Christmas we used to travel to her house to stay most of the day and deliver our presents to her.
"Arrrr me hearties," she would say welcoming us, "bring y'ar selves on board. Park y'ar backside on a barrel near the fire!"
As you may have guessed, she was a pirate. Although the eye patch she always wore may have been a quick give-away had you been there. She actually was a pirate in years gone by in a film they made in a small film studio nearby. She liked it so much that she decided to remain a pirate albeit she had never ever been to sea on account that she was terrified of the underneath of ships. She was worried in case the captain ever asked her to swim under the ship and remove the barnacles stuck there.
Another thing ... because she was a devout vegetarian she did not have a parrot on her shoulder like pirates do. She had a carrot instead.
She used to sit by the fire smoking her pipe and opening our presents; mostly chocolate coins covered in gold or silver paper to make them look authentic. She used to count them and say, "pieces of eight ... pieces of eight ..."
To be honest, I was more intrigued rather than frightened of this elderly pretend Nan pretending to be a pirate. One year, as we drove back home, I questioned my parents about the sanity of this woman whom we visit as a family once a year. I had by then grown up enough to reason in my mind why she would do that and to enquire of my parents as to her motivation.
"Oh ... she doesn't do that all the time!" said my father, "only at Christmas. The rest of the time, for instance I visited her once in the summer," he continued, "and she believed she was a Bishop!"
She wore some clerical vestments made from old blankets and table cloths and walked sideways just like bishops do on a chess board. She also insisted in speaking in Latin only; which made conversations with anyone rather short.
Apart from that, she was completely sane ... apparently.
In fact, she was a professor at the local college lecturing in graffiti and bad behaviour.
Nan Melba ... wherever you are ... may you bring joy to all around you!
We have a tradition in our family. As we approach Christmas we tend to visit family and friends and have gatherings usually at weekends. There's about four or five such gatherings leading on to Christmas day itself.
It was our turn last weekend and we had about a dozen people around.
As everyone was cheerful and merry I remembered an old lady who lives alone a few houses down the road.
No one ever seems to visit her. No family. No friends. No neighbours. No one.
Can you imagine that? Being all alone in her home at Christmas with no one with her. I felt sorry for her.
So I put on my coat and walked down to her house and asked her if we could borrow some of her chairs.
She refused.
What a selfish person. No wonder she is all alone at Christmas!
Well ...perhaps not quite an elf; but you can help someone less fortunate than yourself. And you can do so without spending a penny. Yes, not a penny, or dime or anything else apart from a few seconds of your time.
And it is easy. Here is how you can help someone in need.
Just leave a comment here below on this post.
For every comment left here I will donate £1.00 to The Salvation Army.
The Salvation Army is a Christian Organisation which helps unfortunate and lonely people, especially these times at Christmas when people and the elderly can be alone and forgotten.
So, to give The Salvation Army a helping hand I will donate £1.00 to them for every comment left here below - up to a total of £100.00 ($120).
Let's get started and see if we can reach 100 comments.
No repeats please, but invite family and friends to write in.
No Anonymous comments. Leave your name and Blog address if Blogger locks you out so I can visit you and say thank you.
INVITE YOUR FRIENDS TO COMMENT HERE
This offer will remain open for a few days to help
.
