Monday 18 April 2022

What shall I write about?

 

You can imagine what it's like. I sit at my computer day after day ignoring all distractions just to write something interesting, educational or informative for you my readers to enjoy and be entertained.

It is not easy you know. Sometimes I wonder what else I can write about to ensure that you continue to visit me here; and also that you encourage and invite others to venture here too.

Do you realise that if each one of you encouraged just one more regular visitor here then there would be more readers to this Blog than there are empty pizza boxes in the kitchen.

Anyway, c'est la vie, as they say. It seems the road to my success is always under construction.

It reminds me of that day long ago when I met a beautiful woman in the museum in Paris. I thought I was in Louvre! Turned out I was in Seine as she pushed me in the river.

But I am much wiser now years later having learnt a lot about love and marriage. Did you know that behind every angry wife there is a man with absolutely no idea what he did wrong?

That's the thing about married life. One day you're the best thing since sliced bread; and the next moment you're toast.

Perhaps you wise people can advise me about this. I can't seem to get anything right. If you deliberately try to fail, and you succeed; which one have you done? 

I married my wife for her looks; but not the ones she is giving me right now!

The other day she said, "I asked you to take the trash out many times and you've still not done it!"

I replied, "Thank you my dear for explaining the word many to me; it means a lot!" She was not impressed by my wit.

She always complains that I never listen to her ... or something like that! She said, I'm forgetful. When I told the doctor I'm forgetful he made me pay in advance.

She often corrects me in discussion or when talking to friends. Does anyone know how to disable the auto-correct function on a spouse?

The other day my wife complained that I was useless at fixing electrical equipment. When I discovered that our toaster is not waterproof I was quite shocked.

Anyway, as you know, I often like to end up with a Christian story to make us all try to be better and lead a good life. This one is about stealing and cheating.

Once upon a time there was an unscrupulous painter who was very interested in making extra money if he could. He often thinned down his paint with turpentine to make it go a bit further. Sadly, he got away with this for some time.

One day he was painting the outside of the Church Parish Hall white. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and got up to start the job. 

Sadly, like always, this cheating man had thinned the paint with turpentine.

As he was painting away, the job nearly completed, there was suddenly a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened. The rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the Parish Hall walls, and knocking the painter clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

The thieving painter soon realised that this was a judgement from above … ... ...

He got on his knees and cried, “Oh God … oh God … help me … what should I do?”

And just then a thunderous voice replied:

“Repaint !!! Repaint !!! And thin no more !!!”

23 comments:

  1. I put my hand skywards and admit..l was married
    once..met my then wife in June 1973, married in
    September 1973..on my birthday, the 21st.....
    Couple years later my daughter arrived, first class..!
    Then in June 1982 we separated, and l gained
    custody of my daughter, and raised her on my own
    for fourteen years...
    So..l've missed the abuse, beatings, shootings etc..
    of any female/woman...HeHe! God has been good
    to me..! :O).

    And..Yet! I enjoy the company of the female gender,
    rather than men..being raised a Sicilian, l cook, l sew,
    l knit, l do hair..l can compete with any women, though
    having children...I'll draw the line..! :O).

    AND..Of course there's millions of marriage jokes....
    Let me think..
    Husband: “Why do you keep reading our marriage
    license?”
    Wife: “I’m looking for an expiration date.”

    I need to start paying closer attention to stuff..
    Found out today my wife and I have separate
    names for the cat..

    Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife
    when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”
    Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”

    Nice one Victor...
    Though l think the guy in the top cartoon, is pushing
    'ALL' the wrong buttons..! :O)
    🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅 🎄 🎅

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  2. ...well, you make it seem easy!

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  3. Thanks for the good laughs today, Victor. I love the "repaint, repaint!"
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad I made you smile, Martha.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  4. Yes, coming up with blog content is a never-ending quest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to write something different and fresh whenever I can, Kathy.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  5. LOL ! You done good today, Victor. :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm so happy you enjoyed today's offering, Bill. Thank you.

      God bless you and yours.

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  6. EXPERIENCE i GUESS,but you know how to get to the heart of things:
    "One day you're the best thing since sliced bread; and the next moment you're toast."
    After some of your writings I expect to see your obit, just sayin'. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll check my obit in the papers tomorrow.

      God bless you Jack & Sherry.

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  7. Honestly, I marvel how you and a few others successfully manage to post every day -- but I'm grateful you do. Thanks for today's chuckles!

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    Replies
    1. I try my best, Mevely. Often ideas come from no where and I write them down on a piece of paper to use later. So happy you liked today's post.

      God bless you and your family.

      Delete
  8. I like the idea that the road to success is always under construction.

    Hope you are having a blessed and beautiful week!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Mimi. Best wishes.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  9. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, this cannot even be translated as you completely use the GOOD humor. But it made me laugh.
    Laugh now but not back then when we had our first home in Georgia and got cheated by a painter like that! Awful and he did NOT repaint... https://mariettesbacktobasics.blogspot.com/2020/11/after-painter-did-lousy-job-husband.html
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so sad when traders cheat their customers. Bad for business too.

      God bless, Mariette.

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  10. Ha!! Amusing and delightful post!

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    Replies
    1. So nice to see you here again, Belle. Thanx.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  11. oh that made me laugh! Repaint! and Thin no more!
    Why do you have empty pizza boxes in your kitchen? Are you building a cockroach highrise?

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    Replies
    1. They are clean empty pizza boxes, never used. I use them to cut up and build a mini model village. Glad I made you smile, River.

      God bless.

      Delete

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God bless you.