Dear TV Station,
Why is it that you normally broadcast programs in low volume and then when the adverts are on they are broadcast very loud? I know you hope to attract the viewers' attention but this is counter-productive and unprofessional. When I was on the radio the station manager would reprimand us if we played music louder than our talk in-between records. Maybe he should teach you a thing or two about broadcasting.
Dear XYZ TV,
I just watched your program by accident. I don't usually watch it because this is my time to pick up the dog's droppings from the garden, which I must admit is a much more profitable endeavour. On this occasion you had an Agony Aunt type woman on TV taking viewers' calls and giving so-called helpful advice. A lady phoned in distress because she was going through a painful divorce. Your fathead suggested that divorce should not be painful. "It is after all a new beginning," she said, "a new chapter in your life and you should look forward with anticipation with the joy that might lie ahead!"
What a load of fathead manure this woman dispensed. To many, divorce is, and should be, a very painful period in life which often scars people for a long time thereafter. Not only those getting divorced, but also children if there are any in the marriage, as well as other family members and friends. Often, divorces are acrimonious involving bitterness and broken relationships well beyond the married couples. Divorce is not an adventure to be entered into lightly as a means of moving on from the old to a new life. No wonder so many marriages end up in breakdown.
Note that I have not even mentioned what God said about divorce. Look it up in the Bible if you have one in your TV station.
Dear TV Program Manager,
Thank you. I have enjoyed yet another great episode of Star Trek The Next Generation. I am confused however. How come in the future they have invented so many machines and Starships, and food replicators, and translating machines that can speak so many alien languages, and advanced medical equipment, and Androids as good as Mr Data, and electronic visors for Geordi La Forge to be able to see again, and so many others marvellous inventions, and yet Captain Jean-Luc Picard is still bald? Does that mean that we will never find the cure to baldness and I am wasting my time rubbing chicken poo on my head?
Dear Cookery Program,
I enjoyed the show you just broadcast. My problem is that I do not have, nor know of, some of the ingredients mentioned. One of the chefs used saffron and said it was very expensive. I can't afford that. It looked like tobacco; can I use some tobacco from my pipe pouch instead?
Another recipe involved lobster thermidor. I do not have a thermidor; would a frying pan do instead?
I always like watching your programs whilst having my beans on toast, or pizza and beer.
Dear TV Station,
I really like all the films you show on TV. Cheaper than going to the cinema. I am confused, however, about something that occurs in all dystopian type films. You know the ones ... the world has blown itself to bits and only a few people survive in a state of total despair in some sort of wilderness bereft of hope and reason and justice. A bit like when the mother-in-law visits here.
In all such films, the men wear tatty, torn clothes and have long beards and long hair, yet the women have shaved their under arms and legs and look very sexy having used the latest shampoo and toothpaste. How is that possible? Is it because the women of the future will not share their razor blades, shampoo and toothpaste with men? Should I start a stash of such luxuries just in case?
...Victor, you are spot about the volume of the programs and advertisements.ReplyDelete
It is annoying, Tom. The program is low volume (almost deliberately) so I put the sound up to hear the film. Then the adverts come on and wake me up from my sleep. Often I am dreaming about the lovely actresses in the films I am seeing; and suddenly I am wakened up about an advert for haemorrhoid cream. That is hardly romantic is it?Delete
God bless you.
Oh, the volume thing is so true!
As for myself I watch very little TV and sure don't miss it.
Star Trek I have absolutely no clue as we both never ever watched such movies.
Fatheads we have many—self proclaimed counselors or whatever—they THINK—they are...
I'd rather read one of your books!
What a nice and kind compliment about my books, Mariette. Thank you so much for your continued support.Delete
God bless you and Pieter always.
Hi Victor, we turn off all adds that come on the TV and don't even look at themReplyDelete
There seem to be more and more adverts cimg on now.
True, far too many adverts.Delete
God bless, Brenda.
These are so great, Victor! Yes, we have the same issue with our television's audio. I've never watched a single episode of Star Trek/Star Wars, and cooking shows only serve to make me Hangry(!). Your last letter made me laugh out loud!ReplyDelete
I can't understand why cookery shows often use expensive ingredients that a lot of people would not have at home or even afford. The other day a chef was using duck confit. A small can of 400 grams costs over £6 ($7.39) and would not even feed a small dogs. Other tins cost as much as £30 ($37). It is ridiculous for a chef in a popular cooking show to expect viewers to afford this; as well as goose fat or expensive wines used for cooking.Delete
Personally, I have started hoarding razor blades, shampoo and toothpaste in case I don't find a woman willing to share with me. What is the world coming to?
God bless always, Mevely.
It's very annoying when you have to turn up the volume to listen to a program and then turn it down when the ad is on. The ad blows your ears right away.ReplyDelete
I thought it was happening just to me. It seems it is happening in other countries as well. It is so counter-productive because people get up and make a cup of tea.Delete
God bless, Bill.
I find the disparity in volume distressing too, Victor! Sometimes, I choose to record a program so I can skip the advertisements while watching the show. Really good way to go!ReplyDelete
It seems this habit of broadcasting adverts at high volume is quite widespread - not just on my TV. You would have thought broadcasters would realise they are doing no favours to the advertisers.Delete
God bless, Martha.
I hope you feel better after writing, but something tells me your letters won't change anything.ReplyDelete
Of course they will not change a thing, Kathy. I have not posted them. Have you seen the price of postage over here. It would be cheaper to stick the letter on the back of a snail. Only snails are expensive too because they are a delicacy in posh restaurants.Delete
You speak to my mind. The # of times I have shouted to my husband to turn down the volume. I am so tired of hearing about cures for arthritis by buying a $50 lotion in a tube and rubbing it on my elbow will solve the arthritis! We could grouse together.ReplyDelete
Grouse shooting is the hunting of the red grouse, a field sport of the United Kingdom. The grouse-shooting season extends from 12 August, often called the "Glorious Twelfth", to 10 December each year. So for now, all we can do is turn the volume down when the adverts are on.Delete
God bless, Susan.
I often wonder do they purposefully turn the volume up for adverts because they know so many people go into the kitchen and make a cup of tea ... so with the volume louder they hope people can at least still hear the adverts!!!???ReplyDelete
All the best Jan
Yes, either that, or it is deliberate to attract one's attention if you've nodded off to sleep. Another trick they use is a distraction "within" the advert itself. There's an advert where in the background a telephone rings; this makes you take notice in case it is your own phone ringing. Another advert has a period of silence; again in case you think you've lost the sound on TV. And another has the picture cut out whilst the advert is on.Delete
God bless, Jan.
So true about the volume issue. Sometimes also the music is too loud and you cannot hear the conversationReplyDelete
Yes I agree; often when there's a film on, the dialogue is much lower volume than the background music. It is so annoying because you can't do anything about it to differentiate between the two sound tracks.Delete
God bless, Happyone.
You certainly do come up with some interesting questions. If anyone from the station or programs answer, i hope you will let us know.ReplyDelete
Thanx Mimi. I've just realised I am not the only one to have noticed this volume question. It keeps me awake at night when watching TV.Delete