.Sorry to phone in rather than write. I had a great argument with my wife and stormed out of the house. I got in the car and drove and drove. I've been driving non-stop for 23 hours and 55 minutes and I don't know where I am any more.
Dear lost in traffic,
You're five minutes from Tulsa!
Dear Vic,
I keep having these weird dreams that I'm being chased by a mandrill. Can you help please?
Dear Bonzo,
Are you making a monkey out of me? What's a mandrill anyway?
Dear Agony Vic,
For our wedding anniversary next week, I'll try cooking lobster thermidor. But we don't have a thermidor, would a frying pan do instead?
Dear potential cooking disaster,
Try phoning in for a pizza instead. He'll appreciate it more.
Dear Agony Column,
Despite our good fortune financially, I am not happy with life. What do you suggest?
Dear Introspective,
Happiness is relative. It is different for different people. For me, who is not as wealthy as you, happiness is getting home and finding a piece of cheese in the mousetrap. It's all to do with Einstein's Theory of Relativity. The richer you are the more relatives at your funeral. So at least you won't be alone.
Hi Agony,
I keep imagining I am Tom Jones and I think I can sing like him. Is this common?
Dear Tom,
It's not unusual!
Dear Mr Advice Column,
I am writing to you anonymously. I am a politician and the press and radio seem to ignore me. What shall I do?
Dear Anonymous,
Join them!
Dear Victor Agony,
I was reading a scientific article which said that every time I breathe in and out someone dies. What do you think about this statistic?
Dear friend,
Try a better mouthwash.
Dear Newspaper Column,
If the Universe is so full of twinkling stars, why is it dark at night?
Dear Star Gazer,
So you can get to sleep.
Dear Vic,
I think I'm becoming paranoid. I keep thinking I am being followed. Can you recommend a book or a psychiatrist to help me?
Dear Paranoid,
It's behind you!
Any problems that weigh heavily on your mind can be discussed in all
confidence, in the
Comments box below. I'll try my best to help.
I'm only commenting to be prayed for 😉Fun column!
ReplyDeleteAloha Friend 🙏🏽
DeletePraying for you Cloudia, and for all who comment here. God bless you always, my friend.
Delete...I had to search for mandrill too.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was a power drill that only men can use.
DeleteGod bless, Tom.
A mandrill can only be used by a guy with a manbun.
ReplyDeleteI did not know that, Brian. I was also told that a chipmunk is a monk at a monastery who cashes in all the chips won at the casino..
DeleteIt's nice to see you here. Call again. God bless.
".....a better mouthwash." Good one!
ReplyDeleteI may most relate to "Introspective" -- and Agony Vic's answer.
I'm glad you enjoyed today's dose of advice, Mevely. Any problem resolved by Agony Uncle Vic.
DeleteKeep smiling and may God bless you always.
I really and truly laughed out loud at these, Uncle Vic. Thanks so much, and blessings always!
ReplyDeleteAll problems resolved quickly by Uncle Vic. Tune in any time on this channel/blog and invite your friends.
DeleteGod bless you, Martha.
LOL, very funny post Victor. It's not unusual is now playing in my head. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's not unusual, Bill. I'm thinking of the same tune right now. God bless.
DeleteThanks for the mention of Tulsa (Lost in Traffic). It's the city where I was born!
ReplyDeleteDid you know Tulsa is only 24 hours from anywhere?
DeleteGod bless you, Barbara.