Thoughts from my bed

 

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that exercise is not for me. It's the tortoise life for me!

If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat, whereas a rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, but a tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

Why should I exercise? I'll just sit here; just go around me.

As I got older I've discovered that I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

Funny that, I don't remember being absent-minded. Have I told you that I don't remember being absent-minded?

I often go up to the bathroom and then realise that I live in a one storey bungalow. 

I ask myself if all is not lost, where is it? In life, some days, you're the dog; some days you're the tree.

Do you know that kids in the back-seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back-seat cause kids.

I think it's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. These days the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom.

The doctor told me to exercise and I'm fitter than him. He tripped whilst out jogging across the road and a car hit him. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. I can’t remember whether I’ve told you all this before.