The punishment for bigamy is two mothers-in-law - Victor S E Moubarak
Marriage: a friendship recognised by the police - Robert Louis Stevenson
The secret of staying young is to lie about your age - Victor S E Moubarak
I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure - Ann Onimous.
Penguins don't use a dating app because everyone looks the same - Victor S E Moubarak
A pessimist is someone who when he has a choice of two evils chooses both - Oscar Wilde.
Be a pessimist. If all goes well you'll be happy. If not, you can say "I told you so!" Victor S E Moubarak
I bet your father spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at storks - Groucho Marx
As one door shuts, another opens outwards and hits you in the face - Victor S E Moubarak
Is there no beginning to your talents? - Clive Anderson.
Were you born with this nose or did you pick it yourself? - Victor S E Moubarak
If what you don't know can't hurt you, she invulnerable - Ann Onimous
And from whose nose were you picked? - Victor S E Moubarak
Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble! - Ken Dodd