That's life ...

 

Life is confusing at the best of times. I try to make sense of what people say and I get it wrong; especially when it's my wife speaking.

The other day she looked at a magazine and there was a picture of this magnificent coat. She looked at it for a while, and then hinting at me, she said, "I wish I had this!" So I cut out the picture and gave it to her.

She said I was insensitive and started crying. I thought I was kind and sensitive cutting out the picture so carefully. She said she wanted the actual coat, not the picture of it.

It was a very expensive coat. I thought the money could be better spent buying a new (second-hand) car; since our car was beyond repair. 

What would you do? Buy the coat, or get another "already used" car?

We compromised. We bought the coat and we keep it in the garage.

Honestly, I seem to get it always wrong. For our wedding anniversary I bought a water bed. Now we're drifting apart.

So I bought another bed, one with those new memory mattress. Now the mattress is trying to blackmail me.

I was told the secret to a happy marriage is to go out for a meal at least twice a week. So we tried that. She goes out Tuesdays and I go out Wednesdays.

I think all my bad luck in life stems from a deprived and impoverished childhood. We lived in a small cold and very damp house. So damp we went to bed with a periscope.

 

I remember at Sunday school, it was the feast of Saint Francis of Assisi. You know, the one who loved animals and nature. The teacher asked us to write a nice story about our pets. I wrote about our dog, Spaghetti. When she read my story she said it was exactly the same, word for word, as the story my brother wrote. I said, "it's the same dog!"

 

Anyway, as I was saying, "that's life I suppose". Funny old world we live in. Things are changing so fast these days that the good old days was last week.