Friday 1 July 2022

Good Health Advice


 

Every so often I am inclined to do some research and share my findings with you. How inclined I am depends on the number of whiskies I have had.

Today, I would like to share with you some good health advice and information. There's so much advice on the net these days on what to do about this and that; but how can you be so sure that it is all accurate, truthful and reliable? The answer is you really cannot. You take the information at face value and hope it is not fake or false. So you might as well take my advice. It's as truthful as anything else out there.

We start about headaches. They can start as small tiny headaches or develop into real migraines. Many people take various pills for headaches. But a natural remedy is to sit down, place your hand flat on a table, and then hit it hard with a mallet. The pain in your hand will soon make you forget your headache.

As summer approaches people think of going on holiday. But not all places are safe. Some places can be bad for your health, so beware. Take the North Pole for instance. If you travel to the North Pole and sit on a block of ice you will get polaroids. They will develop quickly out of nowhere and each one is different. They also take a long time to fade away.

Drinking tea or coffee can be hazardous too to your health. I used to get a sharp pain in my eye whenever I drank tea. I went to the doctor and he told me to take the spoon out of the cup first.

As we get older we are not as agile and quick on our feet as years gone by. My doctor gave me a bottle of vitamins to help build my strength. When I got home I was so weak I could not even open the bottle. I had to go back to the doctor and ask him to open it for me.

He told me to take a pill every other day; take one on Monday, skip Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip Thursday and so on.  It worked for a while but all that skipping made me fall flat on my face.

The doctor changed the prescription. He suggested I drink a pint of stout beer every day. That worked. I bought a large barrel of stout which I had installed in the kitchen. When it arrived it took two big men to carry it inside. Two weeks later and I can now carry the barrel all by myself.

But you should never rely on what the doctor tells you. When I went to see my doctor to test my sense of humour, I saw a nun come out of his insulting room crying her heart out.

I went in and asked him why the nun was crying so bitterly. He said he'd just told her she was pregnant.

"Is she really pregnant?" I asked.

"No," he replied, "but I have cured her hiccups!"

He then asked me to get on the couch. I asked him why, and he said he needed to vacuum clean where I was standing because his cleaner did not turn up for work. Apparently his cleaner did not turn up for work because her car broke down. She wanted to work from home but could not do so because the Zoom connection broke down also.

I found a pen on the floor and gave it to the doctor. "Is it yours?" I asked. He wrote a few notes in a pad and said, "Yes, definitely mine!"

"How are you so sure?" I asked him. He replied, "This is my handwriting!"

My friend went to the same doctor. He gave him some suppositories and advised, "Put one in your back passage before you go to bed, then come and see me after a week!"

My friend did not understand properly and every night he opened the back door and put a suppository on the kitchen window.  

After a week he went to the doctor who asked him if he felt any better. "Those suppositories are useless," he said, "I might as well have put them up my backside for all the good they did!" 

Also coincidentally, when I visited an old lady the other day I noticed she had a suppository in her ear. When I pointed it to her she said, "Oh dear ... I wonder where I put my hearing aid?"

The thing about good health though is an attitude of mind. One should not dwell and stress too much about it. A friend of mine is such a hypochondriac that he has arranged when he dies he'll be buried next to a doctor just in case.

Finally, remember that an apple a day keeps the doctor away; but garlic is more effective.

And more finally, don't forget that most doctors agree that breathing regularly is good for you.

30 comments:

  1. Hi Victor, regarding good health, a tot of whisky helps keep the arteries open, but your humour helps keep the mouth open (through laughter) and laughter is good for the soul.

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    1. I agree about both the whisky and the laughter, Brenda. There's far too much sadness in the world right now.

      God bless always.

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  2. Yer out of sorts with the date Victor...Not well..! :O).

    There must be hundreds..Neah! Thousands of
    jokes/stories about being ill..I'm not feeling myself
    to~day..

    For the last 12yrs l've suffered a neurological problem,
    mostly in my neck, and now in the small of my back!
    It's not life threatening, even so, it's summat l can do
    without..! No cure..l take tablets, l just have to live
    with it..! :(.

    And just recently it was discovered that drinking
    tea, and especially coffee is good for you, it seems
    to change around every ten years..I enjoy my Green
    tea of a morning, with lemon and honey, and Earl
    Grey the rest of the time..! :).

    HeHe! Funny item in the Sun newspaper to~day.....
    'Faith Can Help Beat Brain Bug'..Parkinson Church
    Shock....Going to church slashes your risk of
    Parkinson's by up to 90 per cent...
    90% less risk for some church goers...!
    (I'll try and find the full item on line)...!

    Great post to~day...Thankyou so much Dr Moubarak...
    For your sound advice and direction...! "Next Please"..
    ✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨💛✨✨💛✨💛✨💛

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    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. This is the link to the church/Parkinson story...

      Please note...It is the 5th link down that page....

      https://www.thesun.co.uk/health/19065191/church-slask-risk-parkinsons/

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    3. I am so sorry to hear about your health problems, Willie. I am praying for you right now.

      I read the link. Really interesting research. It needs further study I think.

      I don't know about where you are; but over here it is Friday 1 July. There is no need to rush through life. It moves fast enough as it is.

      God bless always.

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    4. Ah! So yer not in the UK...I've told many people about
      your posts Victor, even send my daughter the odd link,
      emphasis on the 'odd'...HeHe! :O)
      So..l've been asked where your imprisoned..? HeHe!
      I've told everyone probably in a little shed somewhere
      in Egypt..🏳️‍🌈..(sorry could'nt do the Egyptian flag)..

      I live down south in the UK..half hour from the coast,
      in God's own County...Dorset..!

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    5. Let me explain, Willie. Pay attention because this is complicated for me to understand. Perhaps you could explain it to me. In Greenwich there is a vertical line called Greenwich Mean Time or UTC. This line goes vertically all the way up to the North Pole and also down to the South Pole. An ancestor of mine walked the line - you must have heard the song by Johnny Cash - here's a video I made:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPBC3eh5F1M
      anyway ... my ancestor walked the line to the North Pole and that's how he discovered polaroids by sitting on some ice for a long while.

      He then walked back to Greenwich and discovered the East Pole where he set up the family home. But because the Earth turns from left to right, the East Pole keeps moving, and so does our house; hence the change in dates on this Blog.

      Simples!!!

      God bless.

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    6. HaHa! I'll get back to you in a few days Victor...!
      Oh! And please do not insult me by suggesting
      l listen to C&W music...REMEMBER...!
      I'm strictly Soul...!

      Yes! I had an ancestor who walked the line.....
      The one across Niagara Falls...a monkey went
      just before him..and left a banana skin on the
      line..well you can guess what happened.....!
      He slipped and fell. and got very wet...! :O).

      Can l stop paying attention now...I feel quite lost
      stuck up this 'pole'...I'm in the middle of watching
      a couple of episodes of 'Britain's Worst Killers'...
      a bit of light viewing, before bed...and then l shall watch...'Murder By The Sea'..and a then a 1962 episode of Maigret...with Rupert Davies..! :).

      Peace be to you Victor..."Yer a diamond"...!

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  3. ...today there is so much bogus information circulating about. Take care and enjoy good health.

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    1. That's why I encourage people to read my Blog. It is always truthful and accurate. I have never lied in my life.

      God bless, Tom.

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  4. You are the cure, Victor, when I feel my sense of humor waning. Thanks for the laughs!

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    1. It is always refreshing to know that someone has smiled at what I write. We need more laughter, joy, and hope in the world today.

      God bless you, Martha.

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  5. Wise advice all around (Kathy at The Second Half of My Life)

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    1. So glad you found it useful, Kathy. God bless.

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  6. Dearest Victor,
    Haha, some golden ones here!
    With a suppository in her ear, she now remembered where she put her hearing aid...
    Life can be laughable and that's what we must keep doing!
    Big hugs,
    Mariette

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    1. That's true, life can be laughable and we should do our best to cheer up. It's the only way I find to stop being miserable.

      God bless you, Mariette and Pieter.

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  7. Oh, I didn't want these to end! Can't decide which is my favorite, but the 'polaroids' come close. It's so good to laugh.

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    1. I understand that lawyers claim that people with polaroids have frozen assets.

      Keep smiling, Mevely. God bless.

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  8. You always seem to update your humour levels and share them to those who could use a laugh here and there. Thanks for the laughs, Victor. Stay healthy!

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    1. Thank you, Bill. It is good to see the funny side of life; laughter is good for us all and should be shared.

      God bless you.

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  9. An apple a day may keep the doctor away but garlic might keep everyone away. :). As always thanks for the laughs.

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    1. I'm so glad you enjoyed my offerings today, Happyone. God bless you always.

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  10. Some of those are priceless! I used to work in the field of medicine so lots of laughs from me. It's good to laugh, so thank you. I read it on the internet so therefore it's true, right!

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    1. Hi Sandy; glad to see you here again. Thanx. I assure you that everything you read on this Blog is true. I check every fact in a book which I am writing myself.

      God bless. Keep smiling.

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  11. Very amusing. I smiled so hard my face hurts. My favorite are the Polaroids- I’ll share that one with my husband who has been to both north and south poles on a US Coast Guard Icebreaker. USCG Polar Sea -

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    1. It's so good to see you visiting here, Debby. Thanx, please call again soon and often and invite your friends.

      Let us share the laughter with others. God bless always.

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  12. Breathing regularly is good, just not when you are under the water in the swimming pool.

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    1. Good point. I forgot about that.

      God bless, Mimi.

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