Thursday 11 August 2022

Read all about it ... it's all true

 

READ ALL ABOUT IT
 
WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW
 

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

Wrinkles don't hurt.

Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Forget the health food. You need all the preservatives you can get.

When you fall down, check what else you can do while you're down there.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

21 comments:

  1. ...thanks Victor for the chuckles.

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  2. A few more perhaps....
    The older I get, the earlier it gets late...

    When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago...

    I remember being able to get up without making sound effects...

    I had my patience tested. I'm negative...

    Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers...

    If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

    When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing..

    I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever...
    ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆

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  3. Dearest Victor,
    Some very good reminders and yes, most are TRUE!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

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  4. I am always true, Mariette. I have never told a lie ... ever.

    God bless.

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  5. These are gems, Victor. No day should go by without having a laugh in them, and you certainly help us all in that department. Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. I do try to share some humour every now and then, Martha. I suppose it is to amuse myself.

      God bless you.

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  6. So good Victor, thanks for this post :)

    All the best Jan

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  7. Great little pearls of wisdom. :)

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you like my wisdom, Happyone.

      God bless always.

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  8. Actually, with enough determination and brute force, you can baptize a cat, but it will make you wish you hadn't.

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    Replies
    1. Cats can be so independent. We have plenty of neighbours cats visiting our garden.

      God bless you and yours, Mimi.

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