Read all about it ... it's all true

 

READ ALL ABOUT IT

 

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

 

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

Wrinkles don't hurt.

Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Forget the health food. You need all the preservatives you can get.

When you fall down, check what else you can do while you're down there.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.