Saturday 13 August 2022

The Prince and the Pauper's duck


Once upon a time, a long time ago, before weather forecast records were kept, and well before people moaned about the economy and the cost of living and what's on TV, there was a King who had a baby son.

The King did not want his son to grow up in luxury in the palace and not know the  realities of life like paying the electricity bill, fixing the drains and cleaning the rain gutters. 

So he decided to hand over the baby boy to a poor pauper who lived in the woods and asked him to raise the Prince like a normal boy and teach him about life. The King would give the pauper money every month to pay for the child's upkeep and he would visit from time to time to check on progress.

The pauper readily agreed and in return he gave the King a duck to live and be looked after in the palace.

This went on for a number of years even after weather records were kept, but still before people started moaning about everything. 

The Prince grew up as a fine young man able to cut wood to make furniture and a fire, adept at hunting deer and wild boar, and also to bake and make bread. He did not know he was a Prince.

The King would visit from time to time incognito to check on his son and admire his upbringing.

(NOTE: Cognito is a luxury Italian horse drawn carriage. The Italians have always been good at making vehicles well before cars were invented).

One day, when the Prince was twenty-one, and people started to moan about the weather, the King decided to retire and hand over the crown to his son.

But things did not go so smoothly. The duck claimed that he/she was first in line to the throne and wanted to be crowned instead. The King and the courtiers and the Royal advisers and even the Court jester thought this was ridiculous. You can't have a duck ruling the Kingdom.

But the duck hired Perry Mason and was ready to fight its claim in court. That's a legal court, not the Royal Court - pay attention and stop dozing off!

The King was beside himself. He sat on his throne and then sat again next to himself. His advisers suggested he hires an American Doctor called Dr Gregory House M.D. who looked very much like the British actor Hugh Laurie. He would be able to help decide the case using something called DNA.

This was done, and Dr House proved with a 99.9% degree of certainty that the duck was not the offspring of the King. 

The pauper Prince was crowned King and the duck became a pet at the palace.

And they all lived happily ever after.


  1. HaHa! Cognito is a luxury Italian horse drawn carriage.....????
    Cognito...true meaning...
    For an identity to be known, no longer concealed...(I think)....!

    I lost the plot to this story after the first line.....
    "Time upon a once.."
    A king fathering a ruling a kingdom..looking like
    Hugh Laurie..and living happily ever after..Since when..?
    HeHe! The Italians have 'always' made the best cars in
    the world...and the Sicilians have the best donkeys in
    the world..! Hee Haw! Hee Haw! :O).

    All over the place to~day Victor...Doing my best...! :).
    AND...Off the top of me 'ead....
    What time does a duck wake up?
    At the quack of dawn..!

    What do ducks get after they eat?
    A bill..!

    What do you call a crate full of ducks?
    A box of quackers..!

    Who stole the soap?
    The robber ducky..!

    What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?
    A firequacker..!

    What has fangs and webbed feet?
    Count Duckula..

    A duck went into a chemist to buy some lip salve...
    The chemist ask the duck how he was gonna pay for
    The duck said..."Put it on me bill"...! :0).
    🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴 🐴

  2. It's good to laugh, Willie. Thanx for your contributions.

    God bless always.

  3. ...a duck for President of the US might be an improvement!

  4. Backspace backspace the last sentence about happily ever after. Here's the new ending! Since the prince was now the king and had all the wood cutters that he could ever want and never had to cut wood again, he did not like hunting because it hurt him to kill the animals and besides they didn't need him to hunt because they had plenty of hunters also. The one thing that the prince like to do was bake and cook so he decided to change himself to a princess instead of a prince and working the kitchen

    1. Is that a happier ending, I wonder?

      God bless, MadSnapper.

  5. Dearest Victor,
    Though I doubt IF they had electricity way back then.
    There is some good moral in this story and it is funny in a way.

  6. What a wild and creative tale, Victor! They had DNA tests back then? Lol!

    1. Yes they did have DNA tests, Martha. And it proved the duck was not related to the King because it was different colour feathers.

      God bless you always.

  7. The King sounds like a wise soul. Gosh, I miss Dr. House; Perry Mason, too.

    1. Hugh Laurie has gone a long way from being a comedian to drama like Dr House. Did you ever see him in Jeeves & Wooster, or in Black Adder?

      I remember the original Raymond Burr as Perry Mason. He is still on UK TV.

      God bless you, Mevely.

    2. No, I had no idea! (About Laurie, that is.)

  8. That pauper's duck had a lot of cheek, trying to claim the throne.

    1. I thought ducks have bills, not cheeks!

      Keep smiling and God bless, Mimi.



God bless you.