Thursday 18 August 2022

Vital statistics revealed

 

I love statisticians. They have a certain way of looking at life and jumping at all sorts of conclusions. I remember a statistician friend of mine visiting our home and within minutes he was explaining what percentage of doors in houses open outwards and inwards, the average number of windows per house, and the size of gardens in relation to the size of the house.

He told me, "Did you know that 50% of people in Britain, that's almost half," he said, "do not care much for statistics!"

I counted myself with the other half.

When I worked in London I had to go to a statisticians' conference. It was for business and we discussed important things like inflation, deflation, and all sorts of sleep-inducing subjects. As we got in the conference centre we were given a fact-sheet detailing how many of the people there were male and female. The percentage of us which came from the finance sector as opposed to construction, manufacture, import/export, from the North or South, from the private sector or working for other industries and so on. It was illuminating if you put it on a bonfire. It's a pity they did not tell us what percentage of women there were blonde, and the name and telephone number of that pretty young lady sitting a few seats away from me.

What is it with statisticians always quoting figures on TV and radio which are of no real importance and can be disputed by another statistician anyway?

Did you know, for instance, that in the UK 13% of babies are conceived in IKEA beds? A figure I cannot believe since those shops are usually well-lit anyway.

Did you also know for example that 9 out of 5 people cannot do fractions?

Statisticians have discovered there's a direct relationship between the number of heartbeats a mouse has in a lifetime and its its size and weight. They then did the same with an elephant and found the relationship/ratio between the number of heartbeats and the size of the elephant to be the same as that of a mouse.

A mouse being small and fast-running has a very fast heart beat. He therefore uses his allotted number of heartbeats quickly and dies in a matter of a few months. The elephant on the other hand has a slower heartbeat per minute and lives much longer. The faster we use our heartbeats the shorter our life would be.

That's why it is good to be overweight and sit in front of a TV with a large pizza and a beer rather than waste our life in doing exercises.
 
And another important statistics: 70% of visitors to this Blog are new one's who have never been here before. That's good news, but also thanks to all you loyal readers who keep visiting me. Did you know if you all invited new people we'd have more people visiting here? Thanx.


18 comments:

  1. ...creative statisticians can play with numbers and come up different outcomes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I went out with a girl once who was 36~36~36...she was
    a straight actress...in inches of course, can't be do'in with
    litres, centimeters and metres...! :(.

    So..I'm with you 99.99% on this one Victor...Leave the 1%
    out, just leaves 50~50% No! That's not right..Oh! You work
    it out..At least l'm 100% mad...

    Nothing much owt to say...
    "Mary had a little lamb...so her Father shot the shepherd" :)
    🌟 🍪 🥛 🍴 🎀 🌟 🍪 🥛 🍴 🎀 🌟 🍪 🥛 🍴 🎀

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. https://onlinedegrees.mtu.edu/news/top-10-famous-statisticians

      Delete
    2. There's only one of you, Willie - Unique.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. Can't wrap my head around statistics, Victor, but you sure have made the subject amusing here.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many conflicting statistics on the news these days.

      God bless, Martha.

      Delete
  4. As a fellow classmate once observed, they really should call Statistics 'Sadistics'. I loathed that class back then -- and don't have much more regard now for those who make their living telling us what to think.

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    Replies
    1. You're right , Mevely. It seems there are those who want us to live according to statistics. We need to be in a certain category according to their stats.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. Dearest Victor,
    Oh, statistics are very hard to prove and often they are only used for 'convincing' people...
    My Pieter even had to go to the University of Tennessee, to study Statistical Process Control—demanded by Campbell's Soup for all its staffers.
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I remember I hated having to learn statistics years ago. They could be so misleading and contradicting.

      God bless, Mariette and Pieter.

      Delete
  6. We have enjoyed reading, just haven't felt up to commenting. We do appreciate your comments and thoughts during a tough time. I was surprised at just how tough part of it was. LOL
    I enjoy statistics especially when I make them up. LOL I hope we are on the mend. WE shall see. 50% of the time I am right, the other 75% is questionable....
    Love from here and thanks for the prayers. They have all done a world of good....

    Sherry & jack on the way back...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so glad to hear you are feeling better, Jack; you and Sherry. I shall continue to pray for you and family. Please take care and relax as much as you can.

      God bless you all.

      Delete
  7. Statistics can prove or disprove just about anything. :)

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    Replies
    1. Yep ... 4 out of 3 people agree with you, Happyone.

      God bless.

      Delete
  8. "There are three kinds of lies, lies, damned lies, and statistics." ~ Mark Twain

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can he prove this statistically?

      God bless, Mimi.

      Delete

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